I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie
Last week I had drinks with a friend and we started up the age old conversation that always rears its head when you discuss dating – so what are you really looking for? what are you attracted to? After numerous dates, he was complaining that he is just not meeting anyone. So I tried to turn the tables on him:
Me: “Come on, what do you want? What are you looking for?”
He: “Um, you know someone nice. Someone funny. Someone that makes me happy…”
Me: “So someone that completes you, huh? I hear Tom Cruise might be available soon…”
He: “Ha. Ha. I am being serious…you know someone nice and happy…”
Me: “You are vaguer than a fortune cookie. Seriously, you have no idea what you are looking for that is your problem.”
He: Stands up and yells “I like big butts and I cannot lie!!!”
Me: Shrinking under the table “Um, check please.”
After my initial shock (and our exiting of that bar), I realized that he does like big butts. Now that I think about it, most of the girls he’s dated have a little junk in the trunk. When I pointed this out he got all embarrassed, but I reminded him that a man who appreciates some of the things that society doesn’t always put on billboard ads, is a man worth keeping for most women.
The social pressure on women to look flawless or constantly be stunning is intense. What’s even more intense is the pressure women put on themselves to achieve this social acceptance and praise. How can a man combat this injustice and win a girl’s heart forever (or at least for a few dates)? Here’s my advice:
- If you like the booty, grab the booty (not in public, please).
- Hug the curves.
- Kiss the massive forehead she is trying to cover up with bangs.
- Scoot down for face to face conversations with the shortie in 5 inch heels.
- Never talk about Heidi Klum. Ever.
Be bold in your compliments and expressive of what you like. You’ll find the niceness you’re looking for once you get past that social pressure costume.
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I have a buddy who totally prefers women with a little junk in the trunk. Skinny girls turn him off.
So whenever we go out, most guys consider him the wingman because he’ll take on the girls other guys might pass over. And while the other guys usually strike out, this buddy always meets someone really special.