Make your life special
It’s easy to get down on yourself when you’ve been single for a while. It seems like that special someone is always just out of reach, something you dream of but can never quite grasp. “My life sucks,” you think to yourself. Really? Your entire life sucks because you don’t have a significant other? Is that really the problem?
Let’s get one thing straight: if you’re unhappy with your life now, meeting that special someone will only be a momentary distraction. Once the buzz of the honeymoon period has settled, you’ll be just as unhappy as you were beforehand. The biggest difference is that you’ll have someone new to complain to. What’s my point? You can’t look to a significant other to make your life happy, rich, or special. It’s not fair to put that type of responsibility on someone else. Take control of your own life and make it special.
When most of our life is disappointing and unhappy, we tend to obsess over the things that we perceive other people as already having, which naturally leads us to ponder our single status. We end up thinking that having a significant other would make everything better. In reality, though, it makes just one thing better: your dating status. Every other problem you have still exists.
The solution is to start improving your life now, before you meet that someone special. Make your life a happy place. Put aside the fact that you’re lonely for just a moment and really think about the other things in your life that need tending to. Do you have people in your life who aren’t supportive and do nothing but drag you down? It’s time to sweep them out of your life. Have you been letting your health slip? Time to start eating right and exercising. Been letting that hair get long and unruly? Stop in at the local hairdresser or barber shop and get an updated ‘do. Do you have any hobbies? No? Get one, take some classes, try some new things. Everyone needs something to take their mind off of work.
A funny thing happens when you start fixing the things in your life that are really bothering you: you start feeling happy. When you’re happy, the fact that you’re single isn’t nearly as anguishing because it’s not your focus. You feel fulfilled and content with the way your life is on your own. Meeting someone new would only add to the happiness instead of being its sole source.
Another thing to consider is what you have to offer a potential partner. If you’re depressed and hate your life, what makes a relationship with you enticing? Unless this person happens to like fixer-uppers, you’re a hard sell on the market. On the other hand, if your life is full and happy, if you enjoy each day and have interests you like pursuing, it makes you interesting…you have something special to share with someone else.
Most people meet their significant other not because they were looking for someone to date, but rather because they were doing something that they already enjoy and met another person while doing that. The primary goal was to enjoy himself/herself, and in the process, someone came along. When you make your life into something that you want to live instead of something that you merely tolerate, the relationship side of things has a way of taking care of itself.
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Great article Zack! and maybe to add or say in a different way, I would like to add this thought: (is not mine, I would like to mention the author but I don’t remember)
“Don’t get too obsessed with learning how to meet women. But do get obsessed with having a great life. That is the key”
Thanks