Do Independent & Educated Women Intimidate Men?
(Photo: from PostSecret)
The setting:
Two girls sitting in a cafe, studying. Books are laid out everywhere. A guy approaches one of the girls.
- Guy:
- Hey, what are you studying?
- 1st Girl:
- (Glances over to friend first) We’re studying for an exam.
- Guy:
- Oh, that’s cool. Like a final exam, huh?
- 1st Girl:
- Um, nope. It’s for a board exam.
- Guy:
- A board exam… (Scratches head) A board exam… as in… a final exam?
- 1st Girl:
- No, it’s to get a certification in our field.
- Guy:
- Oh, that’s cool. What field is that?
- 1st Girl:
- Pediatric medicine.
- Guy:
- Oh! So you both are nurses then!
- 1st Girl:
- (Glances over at friend again) Um, no…
- 2nd Girl:
- (Looks up at guy) No, we’re doctors.
- Guy:
- Oh… That’s… Cool… Well, I have to go now… It was nice talking to you…
Has that happened to you? Do you find guys being reluctant to talk to you once they find out you have an advanced degree, be it in medicine, business, or law? Sadly, this is not uncommon. The cold hard truth: many men are intimidated by independent & educated women.
I know, some of you guys out there want to refute this. “That’s bullshit!” you’re thinking. “I love independent & educated women!”
That’s great. But if you go talk to some of your independent & educated female friends about their experiences, you’ll get a different view.
Does that mean it’s all hopeless for independent & educated women? Are you doomed to be single for the rest of your life?
Good news: no, you’re not. There is hope.
- Many independent & educated women hold high, perhaps unrealistic standards. Adjusting those standards to be more realistic and seeking only those that are relevant to a happy relationship will help. Is he a great guy, really cares about you, but doesn’t have a PhD like you do? So what? How’s is a PhD relevant to a happy relationship?
- Don’t lose heart. Just as there are men who are intimidated, there are men who prefer independent & educated women. It may be a challenge to find them, but unlike leprechauns, they really do exist. How do you find them then? Well, that’s a topic for a future post. *wink*
- And finally, according to NYU Sociology Professor Kathleen Gerson, “The more highly educated a woman is, the more likely she is to ultimately marry. … Women who do postpone, especially if they’re highly educated, are more likely to find a partner who is right for them. [It is] more likely for that marriage to work, to last, and to create that balance between personal autonomy and commitment that they desire.”
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment!
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