Most of the time, it’s girls that are being approached by guys. This means that it’s usually the guy getting turned down and the girl having to do so. It seems that as I’ve gotten older, girls really haven’t figure out how to turn a guy down politely but firmly. So please, ladies, read this post carefully.
Guys put a lot on the line to ask you out. They’re basically putting themselves out there knowing that there’s a possibility that you’ll say no. For most guys, the fear of rejection is so great that they won’t even dare ask directly, but rather try to figure out some way to create a pseudo-date. The ones that do ask you out directly deserve some respect for having the guts to state their intentions. Given that, try to be nice to the guy no matter how disgusted you are by his eating habits, personal hygiene, or attire.
Next, if you really have zero interest in the guy, tell him that. Any response that leaves a little bit of hope is the same as leading the guy on. For instance, “I don’t really want to be dating right now,” implies to him that if he asks at a later date, you might say yes. If you have no intention of ever saying yes, then you need to say that. You can do so politely, as in, “I’m sorry, I’m just not interested.” That answer states clearly and without doubt that the answer is no.
When you turn a guy down, make sure you’re telling the truth. All guys will remember any shred of a chance that you’ve given them to be in your life. “Let’s just be friends,” means stick around for a while and we’ll see what happens. “I don’t want to date right now,” means ask again later. “I don’t date co-workers,” means that when one of you leaves the company, he’ll ask again.
Whatever you do, avoid non-commital answers such as, “I’m not sure it’s a good idea.” To us, that’s an indication that we need to try to convince you. Either you like us or you don’t. Also, don’t ask for some time to think about it. If you need time to figure it out, then you probably don’t like us so spare us the decision-making process.
Really, it all comes down to having respect for the guy that’s asking you out. Appreciate that he’s putting himself in a difficult position and give him an absolute answer. You may hurt him initially but it’s far better than kicking off a game of cat-and-mouse with him that will ultimately leave him more hurt than if you’d said no in the first place.