I am sitting in my “one side untucked bed” reading your post with tears flowing down my face….I’m not even putting energy into crying anymore..I’m crying for you…because you feel exactly the way I do and I know how lonely that is.

Please don’t cry for me, I share my stories and feelings to help others relate to theirs. If someone, like you, can read what I wrote and find that it expresses what’s going on in your heart, I’m happy.

We all know that being single has its great moments (like when you’re dating three people at once and loving it) and crappy moments (missing someone in particular).

Hang in there, Hilary. It’ll get better.

Everything you’re saying is so true. People always think something’s wrong with you that you’re single and perhaps yes, it’s because we’re all human and need love and interaction. You know even aliens have us humans to reach out to, but human to human relations can be so weird sometimes. People are so funny and being alone allows you to see that…but you still miss that sharing of intellect. At least there’s the internet and blogs like urs. Thanks. My saturday feels better.

Damn!!! It is about time I met someone I can relate too. Jesus. I’m tired too brother. Shit I’m tired of going to the movies by myself with a big ass popcorn and no one to share it with. Let you in on a little something else… I avoid with the most possible caution- the marenity ward when I’m going to visit a sick friend at the hospital. IT TAKES STRENGTH! I’m damn near broke down in tears. I’m tired of anticipating and day dreaming about that “one” and how he will look, what I want him to treat me like, Blah-blah, & ect. Mostly I’m tired of playing up to my friends like, single life is the thing but, deep down inside I just want to ball up like a pieace paper and cry. Most of all I’m tired of fronting with a look or image of this “strong ass person that endures a lot” and My heart aches for someone to love. I would like to know someone wants me for a companion. I can’t think of shit else for right now- It’s Memorials Day and I have been drinking. I’ve fired up the grill. Guess What? Alone. Cheers Dude. You are not alone.

Another thing… Some one comes up to me and is like you got any kids? I say no. They say, you had better count your blessings or you’re lucky or you still got your whole life ahead of you. SHUT UP! QUIT TELLING ME THAT SHIT! I WANT CHILDREN YOU DUMB ASS! AS A MATTER OF FACT I WOULDN’T MIND HAVING ONE NOWISH!! When I go to church, I’m christian but I don’t think the other church members seem to think it, as safe with their husbands and my one single self. I know females… I know they trip about shit like that. As a Matter of fucking fact! I’m the only single person in my church!

I’m tired of waiting, tired of my Ex’s throwing it up in my face with their new women and their brand new fucking babies. Tired having to change a flat, get the oil changed in the car, get new tires, detail my car, taking out my own fucking trash by myself. Traveling by myself. Left out of conversations. Sitting and playing with the kids at any event because I got “mysteriously muzzled” out of a conversation that involved marriage &/or relationships. Cooking for myself. Washing my work clothes instead of washing men’s underwear, bed sheets, and my lingerier. I’m tired too!!

You said it Zack. PERFECTLY. I feel every word and I’m tired of it.

reading what you wrote made me realize that I am not the only one finding it hard meeting “the one”
I too go to bed alone, wake up alone, i see happy couples all over the place and i ask myself “what is wrong with me?” I am independent, smart, attractive, many things going for me yet here i am all alone, reading on line posts about being single… its frustrating, i have tried dating sites but i have not met anyone who doesn’t want something superficial, i want whats in the movies - yea i know its a dream but i know it can happen, sometimes when i watch a movie and i see the passion I wonder will i ever be able to kiss a man again? have that passion again? or will i be alone forever? i am not sure what the secret of meeting someone is, damn i haven’t even dated in years…. so maybe the world is right, maybe something is wrong with me….

@Anita - You’re definitely not alone. There’s a lot of really great people who are single at this very moment. It’s absolutely not a reflection on you. Sometimes we need to be alone just so we’ll appreciate the companionship when we find it. And trust me, you won’t be alone forever. Granted I don’t know you, but you’re incredibly articulate, which means you’re also very smart. I’m sure you have a lot of other things going for you as well. Just wait through the frustration, it’ll pass.

I know your right, and thank you
your comment actually made me smile.

i know eventually i will meet someone
i heard something a while ago not even sure where it came from …

but maybe i am the one sabatoging or at fault for being single…. if i really truly went out and stepped out of my safe zone maybe i would meet him… maybe the problem is i shouldn’t be so scared of failure, or hurt, or heartache
after all its all part of life…

they say there’s someone out there for everyone…
maybe my soulmate is not on this planet… hahaha

holidays are coming and the fact that your single always hits harder… i would love to spend the holidays with someone i love and who loves me ….

well anyway … don’t want to be sad about it

your right it will happen one day

i love that you have such a positive outlook its refreshing

Zack -
another thought

i guess what it comes down to is i’m tired of being on my own and would love just to have a partner in crime - lol

someone to laugh with, cry with, talk to, bounce ideas off of, have fun experiancing new things with and just grow old together

anyway lol i talk too much

have a great night

Thank you Zack and to everyone that has commented on this I’ve been having a rough day.
I am tired of being the wing man and I am tired of not having anyone to call, I realized I am so longing to say “I love you” to somebody that I want to lower my standards just to be with somebody. But knowing that there are people that want the same exact thing, makes me feel a little better. I hear what your saying about not knowing why your single, I have been told I am good looking but that just doesn’t fill the void, I guess that proves that I am human and not superficial. Well thank you again for writing, commenting and listening to me rant.

I so know how everyone feels that has posted a comment. I felt so sad that I googled “I’m tired of being alone”. That I even had to do that makes me sad. Everything I read in all the posts I felt like I could personally be writing all that myself. I stood outside tonight on my deck and just cried. Once again I made dinner for myself, ate by myself, watched TV by myself, got ready for bed by myself, and went to bed by myself only to have to face the same thing all over again tomorrow. The worst part is always coming home to no one. Sometimes when I get home I will say just for fun “Honey I’m home!!” Of course there is no reply. I’m successful, attractive, a great cook, I want a baby, (of course they are everywhere I look-and I turn 39 in a month–I’m running out of time). I’ve had a couple of long term relationships but they of course weren’t the right ones for me. They are now happily married with kids. I am trying the online dating scene but to no avail so far. Some great dates but the connection just isn’t there or they aren’t at the same place I am in wanting a long-term committed relationship. I am soooo tired. I too go places by myself. I’m confident enough to dine alone, go to movies etc but it gets so lonely. I desire to have the witty banter with someone. I feel like it’s getting so hopeless. I take vacations by myself as well. They are fun but guess what? Not as fun as they could be if I could spend the time with someone. Here’s something super pathetic and depressing. I’ve had the last 4 days off from work and no one to do anything with. All of my friends are in relationships so they have kind of fallen to the wayside. I’m so lonely today!! What is everyone else doing to combat the loneliness. I live in Las Vegas and it’s really hard to meet people here. Zack, thank you for starting this feed. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one feeling this way. Why can’t all of us lonely people get together. Then we wouldn’t be lonely anymore!!! Thanks everyone!!!!

Hey Chris and Carla - I’ve been there, which is why I wrote this post. The important thing is to have faith that it will happen for you and that it’s just a matter of time. I’m not going to throw in any other cliches, but all of us single people need to keep our heads right and realize that everyone else in the world is missing out on the best thing ever: us! One day, they’ll wake up!

Hello everyone,

Thanks for all of the comments…I am too very lonely and sad to be 36 years old and single. Most of my friends are married with children or divorce and dating. It’s pathetic and I don’t know what to think anymore. I find myself crying over this more often. I have been told I am very cute, funny and intelligent. I have a great career and a good body shape. I am tired of feeling like I am fighting against the clock and having to probably settled for less so that I don’t miss my fertility window. And no….I don’t go on 1st dates and tell guys I want a baby and a life partner by the time the check arrives…but sometimes I think they can see that in me and I am very afraid I am staring to wear my desperation…

wow…I can totally relate, especially lately…i think my feelings have intestified in the last few weeks…i don’t think i know a worse feeling than this. I’m really glad i read your post, (although i’m sorry you’re going through this)…but i’m sure you’re tired of hearing that too, as am I. Anyway, thanks for posting this, and reminding tons of people out there that’s they’re not alone. Best of luck to you and to all of the people out there who are going through this same thing.

wow..I too am crying reading these posts..that sense of isolation seems so unbearable and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this struggle..I’ve been single for seven years, and feel I’ve sabotaged my happiness as I wasn’t ready or didn’t know what a good guy was..having had terrible male role models and as a result afraid of the ones who treated me well..I relate so well to the ache you feel in your hearts and wish we could all meet up to support one another on our journey…the struggle will end someday for all of us as we all have open hearts……ready for love

This has been the saddest time of my life, my eyes are watery but I couldn’t even cry. I always have my music playing, my chats on, my torrent going, and some drinks on the side.

Am I alone? I’ve lived my life with passion in art. I felt so free and happy. I meet people with the same interests. I always feel I’ll be left out but I end up with nice people. Sadly, they all just come and go. I kept that in mind… So I never had a close friend. Never had a boyfriend. No one really knows me. But still, It was all fine, I didn’t mind about anything else in life. I love what I am now.

While I was busy dreaming and playing… People around me are crying, I hear them, I know their stories and almost felt like I’m a part of it. It’s all the same. I observe them. I don’t want to go through that pain, It’s a waste of time, I thought. I don’t need it.

Now I’m 20+ and I think I can marry a pencil, a book, or a computer.

I even had some online game going on and got pretty good with it, I earned a ticket to visit another country. That’s because lonely girls play goddamn online games.

Dreamers are busy people who can’t stop being busy. You think you’re safe in there and you look at the world like it’s some aquarium, visible and colorful. Happy just sitting there. One day you’ll just wake up and realize you’re not part of that world. So, where have you been all this time?

You stop and think. I stop and think. And then you google some words like, porn, alone, tired. And then you feel sorry about the porn part because it’s disgusting. And then you feel sorry about the alone and tired part because it’s full of sad people.

Me? I just feel sooo tired… This is reality. I’m tired of chasing my dreams, It wasn’t so easy as I thought it was. I’m tired of looking for a new job all the time, ’cause nothing can make me stay. I’m tired of waiting for someone who I can chat to at night. Friends, Strangers, Whatever, Whoever. It will help pass time. I’m tired of arguing with myself whether to stop smoking and drinking and all that bad habits. I’m tired of feeling pretty in the evening and ugly when I wake up. I’m tired of waiting for that next event that will give highlight to my boring days. I’m tired of playing online games but not really. I’m tired of getting excited over some handsome guys or pathetic loser who’s trying to get to know me and waste my time. I’m tired of explaining myself to some people who didn’t really care but asks anyways. I’m tired of seeing people getting bf and gf for so many times when I couldn’t even get one, just one. I’m tired of trying to look for a new music or movie that will entertain me. I’m tired of wondering why my friends seems to dissapear one by one as time passes by. I’m tired of looking at the starless sky and thinking if the few people who loved me knows my sorrow now. I’m tired of going out alone, eating alone, sleeping alone. I’m tired of going to parties and then go home drunk and alone. I’m tired of seeing tired people and poor kids who can’t even buy a slipper. I think I am tired of life and tired of many other reasons.

Funny. I don’t know how to kiss a guy. I don’t date but maybe I should but it’s just so ridiculous. I feel I’m running out of good music to hear. I’m running out of time. And I feel in any minute now, I’ll get back to my old happy self and will wake up one day… old and alone.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want. Maybe I am scared? All I know is I’m just me. Happy. Sad. Happy. Sad. Because I don’t know what love is… I don’t know how to love… And since I’ve been living like this all my life… I think I can survive. Just playing along with life, not searching for him because I know one day, he will come to me.

@Julie - we all feel this way from time to time. The important thing to remember is that it’s just that, a moment in time. In another moment, you’ll look back and laugh at how you used to think things wouldn’t get better. Things are constantly moving towards better every day, and your day will come just like the rest of us.

@Someone - Being in your 20s, you have plenty of time! Clearly you’re a very intelligent, expressive, insightful, and caring person (not to mention a helluva writer), and there will absolutely be someone, probably many someones, in your future that will appreciate all of that. The important thing, as for everyone who commented here, is to never give up hope because that’s when we really lose.

[...] tears at you, day and night. You hate being single. It’s that horrible feeling in your gut. It just won’t go away. You sometimes touch [...]

I READ ALL OF YOU COMMENTS AND SOMETHING INSIDE ME SAYS COME ON EVERYONE GET A HOLD OF YOURSELVES BUT I DEF KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOUR ALL TALKING ABOUT AND FEELING. THE LOW DOWN, 24 YEAR OLD MALE, STOCKBROKER, WELL SITUATED, GOOD LOOKING, PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING LIFE HAS TO OFFER AND I DO EVERYTHING I CAN LIVING LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW AND YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY? WOMAN IN NEW YORK, AROUND HERE AND MOST OF ANYWHERE I HAVE NOTICED DONT CARE…THEY WANT TO WAKE UP AT 50 WITH NOONE, I DONT UNDERSTAND IT!!??I GO OUT WITH DIFFERENT GIRLS AND ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS PARTY, GET DRUNK, AND SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHO ISNT ME LOL..TELL YOU THE TRUTH MAYBE BECAUSE I COME FROM OLD WORLD VALUES I JUST WANT ONE PERSON WHO MAKES ME HAPPY AND IS THERE FOR EVERYTHING, A MAN IS ONLY AS GOOD AS THE WOMAN WHO STANDS NEXT TO HIM…

I read the whole story and all the comments and damn it, I feel completley the same - I feel extremely lonely sometimes, even though I have some really good and faithful friends whom I can trust. However, there is always a need to have someone special - a person who you can trust uncondinionally, a person who is always waiting for you, who cares of you, whom you could say - ‘I love you’. We all need a special person with whom we’d like to share our lives…
I’m trying to believe I’ll find somoene one fine day. However, there are some examples of unseccessful people who never find their love… And this is frightening me.
I’m single for many years and still waiting for a Mr. Right. What if he never comes?.. Actually, I’m tired of all questions about my solitude. People usually don’t understand why I’m still single. Sometimes they even think I’m not normal. But I am. I’m just a lonely person who would like to find someone but is still out of luck…
P.S. Sorry for my English, it’s not my mother tongue.

I know this in an old post, but sitting here at work on a Friday night after my plans for tonight to go on a hayride with a friend and her family got cancelled, I just typed ‘I’m tired of being single.’ I came across the original post and thought - that’s it. I’m 34 and have been in 11 weddings - people still use the ‘always a bridesmaid’ phrase on me.

I guess I should feel better now, but it gets frustrating!

…And yet another who shares identical pains.

I was once told that when you begin the journey with another, you immediately set yourself up for failure. Is this true? I have met many wonderful women of whom they allowed me the privilege to be the partner of. Every time, it seemed as if this person was the one person in life I wished to die with one day. With this in mind, you have to admit that the idea of love could, in fact, be superficial in and of itself when equality and other considerations become mainstream.

Because of this idea, it has led me to believe that Christianity and all the other flavors of God are superficial lies. I do believe in God, however, it reflects no assertions made by humans in that the super being I worship is something I have already learned that I will no nothing about. It’s impossible to understand “God”.

To me, I always use to believe that love never changes and that once you feel that burn in your heart, it is there like a brand on a horses rear. The problem with that theory, though, is that you get caught with your pants down when that target of emotions finally abandons you or rejects you.

So having come back around to the main point here, to me, love is beginning to lose the silver lining it once had. While I have only lived 24 years of age, I know there will be others to take the place left by my last love, but still, how long will it be before that love dies, too? How long will it be before that new lover gets tired of me and decides to look for greener pastures elsewhere?

My last S.O. left me supposedly because of:
A.) religious differences
B.) my inability to overcome depression
C.) differences in sexual expectations (waiting for marriage)

It’s been almost 2 years now since her departure and I’m still not over it. Everyday I think about how easily it seemed to be for her to move on within the first 3 months of being away from me and how she decided to post images of her new lover on things like MySpace, Facebook and all those websites people use now. This is about the second time I have endured such pain, and to be honest, part of me hopes I never find anyone again because of this sort of hassle.

In the end, I think the true problem that persists in society is the law of chaos–how every mirror has a different reflection at different times. People who date and then marry have their own power to control their own success, however, what evades our understanding at most times is how we over-analyze and dissect everything to death to the point to where what we once had turns into something completely different in the end. This is manifested in ways like paranoia, misunderstanding, lies and deceit, greed, loathing and anti-socialism, etc. It’s the human flaw.

I found this blog a few days ago while on another site (mikelee?) that talked about how to get a passive guy to ask you out (my current situation apparently). I’ve been scanning posts, you have a refreshing perspective. It’s good for me (a woman in her 30’s) to hear a single guy’s voice in all this dating madness and singledom. This particular post spoke to my heart. Dating when you are over 30 is hard. So many times I hear my friends say, “Oh - he’s 38 and SINGLE! Wonder what’s wrong with him” to which I immediately feel like then there has to be something wrong with me! (being single and over 30) What a way to get a complex and dating-phobia!

Anyway - thanks not only for your public voice, but the gaggle of you who run this blog, helping to keep us all sane and get the reality check that we are not alone in this situation.

@Casey - You’re far too young to give up just yet! It can sometimes take a while to get over someone. It took me just about two years to get over one of my exes as well. The thing I’ve learned in my 30 years on this planet is that no one just “gets over” anyone else. Some people act like they have to make themselves feel better. Quickly posting photos of a new significant other is just her way of trying to prove she’s not thinking of you. But she is, trust me, she’s just handling it differently. In the meantime, stop torturing yourself by checking up on her to see what she’s doing. You’ll never get over her that way.

@Adrienne - I’m glad you enjoy the posts, that’s why we write them!

I identify with everyone here. I’m 37 years old, told by all my friends that I don’t look even 30. My chiropractor calls me “Goddess”. Why am I still alone? I’m not picky. I go on dates. They are few and far between, but they are dates. I’ve not been in a steady relationship in 8 years. I’ve not been in a romantic relationship (read: sex) in almost 3 years. I just can’t seem to get it together.

About 3 years ago I decided to take matters into my own hands and had a child on my own, realizing that Mr. Wonderful wasn’t around the corner. I’m so glad I did. I still am devestated that I don’t have anyone special to complete my family, and I thought the “desperation of my bio-clock would no longer show”. I’m sure it doesn’t, but the desperation to have a “nuclear family” shows, I am sure.

Some days I don’t even want to get out of bed I am so depressed. The only thing that forces me out of bed is my beautiful toddler. She’s the reason I can move on. Unhappily and definitely VERY VERY LONELY, but never alone.