I’ve moved waaaayyyyy too much in my life. I’ve transfered twice to different Colleges. Moving doesnt solve anything.

Psychologists suck. All they do is sit in their stupid little offices and listen to you. They don’t actually see how you act out in public which would help me so much. I’ve tried finding a social coach (a guy around my age) to show me how to interact with people and point out what I’m doing wrong. Trouble is most of these guys don’t know how bad I really struggle and gave lame feedback like, “You gotta relax” or “You gotta follow up with your interactions.” Most of the time the assholes dont even GIVE feedback. Arrrghhh it’s so aggrivating! Every time I go talk to someone I feel like a loser.

I’ve thought about paying a pro on the internet to come out with me for a day, but they charge insane fees. Has anyone here hired one before?

Again sorry to be so negative, but my life is hell.

Look through the thread from January 1st through January 16th 2010, for context. Dee and I met up on the 15th. If you considered the circumstances, what would you have thought before the meeting? As it turned out, it went great. Dee is a great person, and we still talk and text. It helps that everything was out in the open from the beginning, a lot of the details were taken care of via email and instant messaging, and there was no pretense of anything. We just met and enjoyed. Like anything else, simple is best.

I am absolutely going to pick a place and just do it. You’re right, any result can be better than none at all.

I am very curious now though about the meeting you had with someone from this forum.. How did it go?

Whether alone or not, with the attention of others or not, just do it. Beyond the obvious reasons, sometimes what people find the most attractive is someone who could throw caution to the wind and do what it takes no matter what. I sympathize with the two of you, don’t get me wrong. But who else will do it for you? Sometimes, any result is better than none at all.

I did that earlier this year when I arranged to meet someone off of this very forum. So many ways that could have gone, eh? But not much in the way of thought or reason needed beyond some common sense, an open mind, and a willingness to have fun with it. I could chalk that up as one of the most empowering things I’ve tried. Or I could have Virgoed (overthought) the shit out of it and not had the moment.

BTW, Jayne, I had lunch by myself on Saturday. Perfectly normal, girl, no one will think of you any less. The spaghetti with shrimp and Peroni beer was a potent distraction, as was the weather.

Since you are young and single have ya thought about moving? Go to a city thats young, packed with things you enjoy and just live. Maybe the change in venue without the need to work so hard to be in situations where folks actually interact could open up some avenues for friendship and dating.

{{HUGS}}Refugio…dude, those folks need to leave you alone. You are 25. Not that someone shouldn’t get married at that age but dang, go out and live a little, have your career or do that which makes you happiest for now (keep in mind I got a few years on you and oh to be 25 again…wouldn’t I do some things differently). Of course its hurtful when you want the very thing these well meaning but over enthusiastic friends keep rubbing in your face. Do not be afraid to tell them to knock it off because of how it makes you feel. If they care about your feelings, they will listen. In the meantime be patient, heed your own words and something good will come. I can’t say when but it will.
@Jayne: Oh girlfriend…we need to talk. Hey Livid where are ya? Same situation here in terms of previously married for 10 years and the issue with having friends to do things with. I have some wonderful friends BUT they are at different place in their lives and our interest are different. My horse friends have no interest in going to see live music or travel and my music friends live out of state. Many have young kids, no money, no time, or are dealing with their own hell. Going it alone is tough and I’ll leave the gents on here to provide opinion (I’d be interested too) BUT I think it does depend on what it is. Going to the gym or driving range I wouldn’t think would raise a flag. I go to the track by myself and that hasn’t raised an eyebrow (they are more surprised to see a woman with all her teeth so the alone part never comes up). The bar is tougher. I have done that and dinder alone and I squirm a bit each time but once you strike up a conversation with someone..ANYONE, you settle in. I have been asked if I was alone but never made to feel pitiful. And if there is a TV it is a godsend if feeling really awkward. For dining, I always have a book if I’m not feeling particularly courageous.

I was married for 10 years, I have an 18 year old son, I have several wonderful friends, a great job, a full and happy life. But I’m still single after being divorced for 13 years! I’ve had a few long-term relationships, but still nothing that turns into forever.

My biggest problem is that my friends don’t go out. They all started later in life than I did, so they still have young kids, or are so happily married that they always stay home. Some are even pregnant now. I live in a very small town and don’t want to date anyone who hangs out at the local places because if it doesn’t work out, it’s uncomfortable for us and our mutual friends. (Learned this the hard way.) But have no one to go elsewhere with… What’s a girl to do?

Tried online dating, and while I appeared to be very popular, (are all women?) and even dated someone for 6 months from it, I really don’t want to try that again. There were a LOT more frogs than princes it seemed.

I’m really at a loss as to what to do. Everything I read says that I need to “get out there”. Ok, but by myself? What do you guys think about a woman having dinner at a restaurant bar alone? I’m always afraid that people will think me a desperate, lonely, sad woman. While I’d like to say I don’t care what others think, that’s total BS. Unfortunately.

I know everyone says this, but I have been told I’m very attractive. I think I look pretty young, I am in better shape now than I was when I was 20. Size 2, etc… Yet I still worry that I’ll look desperate. Would really like to know what others think. Any suggestions?

Thanks for the links, but I’ve tried those approaches. They don’t work. I have no (male) friends here. My family is scattered and has no friends. It’s hard going out alone when you don’t know a soul or have anyone to invite you places.
It’s emotional succide going up to girls in coffee shops and trying to start converstations for me. I’m not kidding. I did so much of that years ago and just got shut down nearly every time.
I seem to have a negative charisma that automatically makes people dislike me. I hate being negative, but the results have shown. Seriously, fuck all those pick-up artists and their stupid books. They’ve done more damage to me than help.
I know this all sounds so negative, but it’s literally true. I couldn’t get a date if I had Superbowl tickets.

How old are you? Respect to you no matter what.