If you’re interested in writing an article, by all means send us a message here: http://www.datingthoughts.com/contact-us/

You can also consider joining & communicating with each other at: http://datingthoughts.socialgo.com/ (thanks matt & nancy for your encouragement that we keep some form of communication up for everyone.)

Best wishes,
wgk

Feel better, Matt.

Most of these “strategies” can be found in any good pickup book. I didn’t invent anything and most of the good ones (Mystery, Juggler, DeAngelo, Style, Jeffries, etc) will admit that they didn’t, either. I have always had a gift of gab, I’ve been through a lot, and can weave a good tale. When I was first single, luck and me being a sailor went a long way. Now, I try to reduce the luck and sailor novelty, and use what I’ve learned. Until you read this for yourself, you won’t get this: it has little to do with canned lines and smoke and mirrors. And it’s not like I have a Spanish accent (I have to tell people I’m Hispanic), am “Hot” (I’m decent looking, well kept, muscular but not too much so, a bit of a belly to lose), or have bling. I’m generally positive.

As for successes, I haven’t tried to go that extra mile for a relationship. I’ll either get dances, phone numbers, or hookups/makeouts but nothing permanent. Remember, I’m not trying to, and a good amount of women will talk and have fun with a married person but won’t pull the trigger. A lot of times it doesn’t go anywhere, and a lot of times it’s fun for that night only. Sometimes, I feel the urge for something more, like you guys, and sometimes I have my moments when it’s a bummer not to have someone. But I acccept it, and move on. About 1/3 of the time, women reciprocate, so that’s not a great batting average. I always try to improve that and maybe when I’m single that will change. But the game is played in the field so lousy or not, I show up ready to play.

I always remember when talking to you, Matt, that my situation is a than yours. I also remind myself that I operate with a bit of an advantage: I have a ring, most women know when a guy is married, and I admit it so “pre-selection” is a factor for me. And this may not meet your criteria of success enough to warrant ever listening to me. And that’s fine: you said it yourself, this is more of a place to vent and commisserate than ask for tips. But that’s what I do, no excuses. And thanks to this site, I will never be the bonehead who says the cliches and doesn’t sympathize with the struggle.

Laying here thinking how unfair the world is (yes, self-pity in full swing), and realizing how true it is.

I used to think I was being punished for something. Now, that’s not making any sense. I haven’t really done anything. There are plenty of people in this world that have done terrible things, yet have happy lives. Why is that? There are plenty of people who have done questionable things, and they are rewarded for it.

For instance, what is Kim Kardashian famous for? Does anyone know? I do, public fornication. How proud her parents must be. Now she is more famous than ever. Same with Paris Hilton, Charlie Sheen, and a whole host of Hollywood “bad boy/girl” stars. It’s sickening. They are actually rewarded for their bad behavior. All the while, the true heros of this world live in practical anonymity. Our underpaid, overworked soldiers, policeman, and fireman. All working so that people like Kim Kardashian can be a whore. Sorry, I despise both her and Paris Hilton. They make me sick. Yeah, I’m on a rant…

I don’t know (or remember) where you are from, but in this area, the ratio is about 2 to 3 women for every man.

How depressing….where in the hell are all these women?

You have been on this site for quite some time. You always seem to have some good advice for people. With that said, why are you still “single”? This is not meant as an insult or a poke at you, but just out of curiousity.

If you have these really good strategies, etc., why haven’t you hooked up yet? It seems like that if these are the things you should be doing (and they seem logical), the result would be a girlfriend.

I guess the point I’m getting at is: are these strategies working for you? If not, do they really make any difference at all? Most of the couples that I know met without effort. A friend of a friend, MySpace, quirky situation, etc. It just seems like luck to me. I think your advice is level headed, but if your fishin’ in a pond with no fish, it doesn’t matter what tackle, technique, or bait you use; you aint’ gonna catch any fish…

You and I are on the same page, my friend. Being single at this age is like having leprosy. Why else would you be single? Everyone thinks there is something wrong with you, and you are excluded from a lot of activities that are couples only.

When ur in our situations, others in the same shoes are the only ones you can relate to , and get comfort from.

Most people dont understand the feelings we all have and on top of that have no interest in listening to the laments.

So by saying the obligatory placations they feel they are doing what is necessary to get you off the track.

Guess what it dosent work, what works is meeting someone who ends up meaning something to you and getting on with your life.