Life doesn’t wait for you
Through the grapevine, I received notice that another ex-boyfriend is married. As I reminisce about my relationship with Mike, I wonder if he was one of the one’s that ‘got away.’ I remember the incredible chemistry we had but our lives were going in different directions….or was it? At that time, Mike had lost his job and was in midst of moving back home. And I was interviewing with few companies and wasn’t quite sure where I would end up. He made me promise to give our relationship a try, but I knew when he left the city our relationship would end as well. As I look at his photos now, I remember what a great boyfriend and friend he was, but at that time, I didn’t know enough to appreciate it. If I met Mike today, would things turn out differently?
In the movie “A Lot Like Love,” the main characters Emily and Oliver are instantly drawn to each other and despite a memorable day, each is convinced that the other is not the right person. As the plot unfolds, the movie amplifies how men and women prioritize love differently.
To Emily, Oliver had three strikes which became evidence of his ill fit: 1) She made the first move 2) He was born under the wrong sign – Cancer and lastly, 3) He didn’t play the guitar. Similar to Emily, women seem prone to completing a checklist of ‘must haves.’ Although this list becomes refined overtime, women’s adherence and loyalty to that list does not. And upon meeting Mr. Right, women seem more willing to forego family and careers to follow the man of their dreams.
On the other hand, Oliver’s reason had very little to do with who and more to do with when. Oliver had a five year plan which included having a successful career before he would be ready to meet the right woman. And upon polling few men, they concur that this has been truer. Men seem to assume that when the time is right, somehow she will magically appear. And as men have less stringent list to fulfill, this may be true.
Oliver: That was the plan, but I’m unemployed, and living with mom and dad. The thing is how can I be there for her if I don’t even have my thing figured out? You know?
Oliver’s Brother: Oliver, this is your life. It doesn’t wait for you to get back on your feet.
It seems obvious that you need to be at the right place in your life and know what you want in a mate to have a successful relationship. However, somewhow both of these approaches appear to be our attempt to control our destiny and minimize risk. What ever happen to the idea of throwing caution to the wind and folloing our heart? I suppose if we knew the answer to this, there would be no more songs, movies, and poems written about the ‘one that got away.’
I’m still not sure if Mike is the ‘one that got away’ for me, but it does make me think twice before I write someone off today.
BTW - Luckily for Oliver, Emily was still available when he realized he couldn’t wait a successful career to begin his life. (Hollywood ending - of course!)
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment!
Related Posts
- Should You Settle?
- What should I do?
- A single’s frustration
- When to ask her out: The acquaintance
- French Kissing 101
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
No comments yet.
Leave a comment