Revenge of the Nerds
Damn you Juno. Damn you for exposing what I have known for years and for making it a movie. You have ruined my dating life. You showed all women how great nerds can be to date and now all these women are after my pool of men.
Damn You.
I am not sure when my love for the nerdy boys began – but I think it was elementary school. Daniel Z. was shorter than me and whenever we went on school trips, him and I were always paired up at the front of the line and had to hold hands. He had the sweatiest palms and his fingers always twitched when we crossed the street. He carried every single one of his textbooks (neatly covered) in his backpack and spent hours trying to show me how to tie my shoes the right way (vs. my bunny ears method). His glasses were too big and his pants a little short, but I thought he was the hottest guy in our class. I lost touch with him in college, but rumor has it, he went to MIT and studied Computer Science - hotness.
In high school, I began a long relationship with another nerd – he taught me how to set up the voicemail on my cell phone, picked out all my technology toys and reconfigured my hard drive. I fell in love almost immediately. When we went to the beach or park, I would bring the latest NY Times best seller and he would bring books on Java Scripts and other technical stuff. We never saw things the same way which often meant we had some of the most interesting conversations. To this day, I still find things installed on my laptop that I never knew I had – like Adobe Photoshop.
The last person I dated was Mr. Super Nerd, and although we would not have worked out for several reasons, he got me to go out with him when he showed me how to get Real Estate listings on my cell phone. Who knew? He often fixed random things in my apartment that I didn’t even realize were broken or wrong – like apparently my computer speakers were upside down and configured improperly. Who knew?
My friends are always amazed at how consistently I fall for the nerdy boys. They find their awkwardness off-putting – I find it endearing. They don’t understand how I can have a lot in common with someone who thinks so differently – I crave conversation with a guy who has a different frame of reference. They say the nerds dress funny and are probably bad in bed – I say you can fix clothing and nerds are the most attentive lovers you will find. They think I am nuts – I think I have the best kept secret.
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