French Kissing 101

Every girl has a story about the bad kisser.  The guy that slobbered all over her face, almost stuck his tongue down her throat, flossed her teeth instead of turned her on.  I could go on and on about how terrible it is to have all romantic hope killed by Mr. Cotton Mouth puckering all over your face.  But I am not going to do that.  I am going to be more productive and give you advice on how to be a good kisser.  Pay attention.

  • Decide if you are going to kiss her and lead up to it all night.  So much of a first kiss is not the actual kiss, but the anticipation of the kiss.  Glance at her lips, touch her neck.  Let her know that she is going to be kissed without actually kissing her.
  • Never start a kiss lip to lip.  The BEST first kiss I ever had started with a peck right next to my left eye.  It went to my hair and then my ear before finally making it to my lips.  At that point I was so drawn in that I lost any recognition of time and technique.  And I was probably almost begging him to kiss my lips…except, I am potted plant – and i don’t beg.
  • Take your time. Fast and furious kissing only happen on Days of our Lives and in Debbie does Dallas.  They don’t happen in a real life first kiss.  
  • Break the rules.  Most guys wait until the third date or try and be a gentleman and wait to make a move.  If you feel the chemistry, go with it.  This is 2008, no need to need to ask for parental permission slip for the pucker up.
  • State the obvious.  I had one guy tell me at the beginning of our second date – “you look gorgeous.  I am going to kiss you tonight”.  I spent the whole night mentally thanking my roommate for dressing me and wondering when he was going to kiss me.  The fact that he knew for sure that is what he wanted was incredibly empowering.
  • Use your hands.  Nothing says boring like a kiss by Mr. Limp Hands.  Be creative and original.  Hand on the back is okay, hand on the booty is a little risky, but hand stroking the elbow or inside of her arm is a new sensation. 

Happy smooching!

6 thoughts on “French Kissing 101”

  1. I’m convinced that HELL is wall-to-wall GODawful kissers. And they all frequent Starbucks. I want to send this to vacuum cleaner guy, plumber guy and not-so-handy-with-his-tongue guy.

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