This may have happened to you before: a female friend approaches you and asks if you’d want to spend the night, no strings attached. She might even go as far as to specify being Friends with Benefits (FWBs) – also known as Fuck Buddies (FBs).
So you accept. Why the hell not, right? What horny guy in his right mind would ever turn down free no-strings-attached sex, right?
And so there you are. Going right along. Booty calls, late-night romps, lonely Saturday nights turned into all-night sex sessions. You’re happy, she’s happy, everybody’s happy.
Then one day, while lying in bed, she turns to you and says, “I think I’m falling in love you.”
SCREEEEEECH! (That’s the sound of your Mental Brakes being applied.)
What the hell just happened to no strings attached? I thought we were just friends and were going to stay that way! WTF Buddy?
That is an all-to-common outcome. More often than not, Friends with Benefits ends up as One Friend Falling For the Other. Seriously. There’s been plenty written about this too. Sometimes it’s because one side already has feelings for the other and is hoping to start something. Other times, it’s ex’s who aren’t quite ready to break it off yet. It could also be two lonely friends who need some physical comfort. Whatever it is, it usually ends the same.
There are also other negative repercussions. While you’re in the FWB “relationship”, other potential dates may shy away from you if they find out you have easy access to a booty call. You can hide your FWB, of course, but that means being dishonest.
Also, some people aren’t cool with the thought of their future boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife having an FWB. They may judge you as a “insert your favorite derogatory term for a person with loose sexual morals & behaviors here”. Unfortunately, women with FWBs are judged more harshly than guys. It’s a double-standard, but that’s what happens.
Then there’s the whole losing-a-good-friend repercussion. Cuz once she says those words, and you blink like a deer in headlights, it’s over. Goodbye Friend with Benefits, goodbye Fuck Buddy, goodbye friend!
My advice to you: it’s much less messy to just watch some Internet porn.
What do you think? Leave a comment!
- “Friends With Benefits” Benefit Summary Prospectus
- Top 10 Posts of 2008
- The role of an ex
- A Relationship Rule of Thumb
- I Don’t Want to Be Your Friend Anymore