Friends with Benefits: Good or Bad?

This may have happened to you before: a female friend approaches you and asks if you’d want to spend the night, no strings attached. She might even go as far as to specify being Friends with Benefits (FWBs) – also known as Fuck Buddies (FBs).

So you accept. Why the hell not, right? What horny guy in his right mind would ever turn down free no-strings-attached sex, right?

And so there you are. Going right along. Booty calls, late-night romps, lonely Saturday nights turned into all-night sex sessions. You’re happy, she’s happy, everybody’s happy.

Then one day, while lying in bed, she turns to you and says, “I think I’m falling in love you.”

SCREEEEEECH! (That’s the sound of your Mental Brakes being applied.)

What the hell just happened to no strings attached? I thought we were just friends and were going to stay that way! WTF Buddy?

That is an all-to-common outcome. More often than not, Friends with Benefits ends up as One Friend Falling For the Other. Seriously. There’s been plenty written about this too. Sometimes it’s because one side already has feelings for the other and is hoping to start something. Other times, it’s ex’s who aren’t quite ready to break it off yet. It could also be two lonely friends who need some physical comfort. Whatever it is, it usually ends the same.

There are also other negative repercussions. While you’re in the FWB “relationship”, other potential dates may shy away from you if they find out you have easy access to a booty call. You can hide your FWB, of course, but that means being dishonest.

Also, some people aren’t cool with the thought of their future boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife having an FWB. They may judge you as a “insert your favorite derogatory term for a person with loose sexual morals & behaviors here”. Unfortunately, women with FWBs are judged more harshly than guys. It’s a double-standard, but that’s what happens.

Then there’s the whole losing-a-good-friend repercussion. Cuz once she says those words, and you blink like a deer in headlights, it’s over. Goodbye Friend with Benefits, goodbye Fuck Buddy, goodbye friend!

My advice to you: it’s much less messy to just watch some Internet porn.

10 thoughts on “Friends with Benefits: Good or Bad?”

  1. yeah i have a friend with benefits but it seems more like a relationship than just being friends with benefits i like her and she likes me she just doesnt want to go out so we decided to be friends with benefits

  2. “…it seems more like a relationship than just being friends with benefits…”

    Hmmm. Be careful dude, that sounds like a potentially tricky situation. If you’re the one who falls for her more than she does for you, then you could be in for some heartache. I hope I’m wrong though! In any case, enjoy!

  3. We were exs that has transcend to friends with benefits..
    But we go to movies, dinners, walks etc.. even when I go over hinting that it is a booty call, he would ask me to bring movies as well, like he would like for us to hang out first before we have sex. He even ask me to to be his financial advisor as he is really bad with money, allowing me to tell me how he should spend his money. However he seems very certain that he does not want a relationship and does encourage me to date other guys. He has agree that we would not sleep with anyone else and if we do, we must let each other know. So it is a big pink area… Any feedback?

  4. I have a friends with benefits,
    I have a relationship with a girl ( I only date women ) he is the only guy I have crushed on for many, many years.
    I don’t have any love feelings for him and I will never leave my girlfriend.
    why is it so hard to think that a girl can have a FWB without her falling in love?? I know I never will fall in love with this guy. he is fun to be around and the sex is great!
    thats all I need.
    and before you say I don’t sleep with any other guy or girl.
    they both satisfy me. why look for more!
    ( obviously the girl does not know )
    so come on, don’t tar all women with the same brush, it really does depend on the individuals involved.

  5. this girl likes me, and i hooked up with her, but i told her i didnt want to be in a relationship with her. but i said i liked getting with her, but i just didnt want to be in a relationship, and she wanted to. so she suggested being friends with benefits. so, what im wondering is should i have sex with her with no strings attached? she says that she’d be fine with it, but i know that she still likes me in that way. would i be leading her on? i am physically attracted to her though.

  6. I have a friend with benifit, but my best girl friend likes my Friend im having benifits with and she doesnt know,well, nobody it
    Bad or is it good because were just fuck buddies..right?

  7. Friends with benefits is a bad idea.. I did it for 3 yrs straight and one day I realized I was crazy over him. And of course it was just fun for him.. In the end I was sad. And I think back all that time was just wasted. You woman deserve better!!! It will be hard for you to me a nice guy , will always compare. Find a guy that is a sweetheart and I’m sure the sex will be great:) good luck!!!!!

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