Friends with Benefits: Good or Bad?
This may have happened to you before: a female friend approaches you and asks if you’d want to spend the night, no strings attached. She might even go as far as to specify being Friends with Benefits (FWBs) – also known as Fuck Buddies (FBs).
So you accept. Why the hell not, right? What horny guy in his right mind would ever turn down free no-strings-attached sex, right?
And so there you are. Going right along. Booty calls, late-night romps, lonely Saturday nights turned into all-night sex sessions. You’re happy, she’s happy, everybody’s happy.
Then one day, while lying in bed, she turns to you and says, “I think I’m falling in love you.”
SCREEEEEECH! (That’s the sound of your Mental Brakes being applied.)
What the hell just happened to no strings attached? I thought we were just friends and were going to stay that way! WTF Buddy?
That is an all-to-common outcome. More often than not, Friends with Benefits ends up as One Friend Falling For the Other. Seriously. There’s been plenty written about this too. Sometimes it’s because one side already has feelings for the other and is hoping to start something. Other times, it’s ex’s who aren’t quite ready to break it off yet. It could also be two lonely friends who need some physical comfort. Whatever it is, it usually ends the same.
There are also other negative repercussions. While you’re in the FWB “relationship”, other potential dates may shy away from you if they find out you have easy access to a booty call. You can hide your FWB, of course, but that means being dishonest.
Also, some people aren’t cool with the thought of their future boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife having an FWB. They may judge you as a “insert your favorite derogatory term for a person with loose sexual morals & behaviors here”. Unfortunately, women with FWBs are judged more harshly than guys. It’s a double-standard, but that’s what happens.
Then there’s the whole losing-a-good-friend repercussion. Cuz once she says those words, and you blink like a deer in headlights, it’s over. Goodbye Friend with Benefits, goodbye Fuck Buddy, goodbye friend!
My advice to you: it’s much less messy to just watch some Internet porn.
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Comments
yeah i have a friend with benefits but it seems more like a relationship than just being friends with benefits i like her and she likes me she just doesnt want to go out so we decided to be friends with benefits
“…it seems more like a relationship than just being friends with benefits…”
Hmmm. Be careful dude, that sounds like a potentially tricky situation. If you’re the one who falls for her more than she does for you, then you could be in for some heartache. I hope I’m wrong though! In any case, enjoy!
[...] you need the person out of your life as quickly as possible. Maybe you’ll be acquaintances. Maybe friends with benefits. Maybe good friends. Or maybe, there is no role for you whatsoever. It’s this that I’ve [...]
We were exs that has transcend to friends with benefits..
But we go to movies, dinners, walks etc.. even when I go over hinting that it is a booty call, he would ask me to bring movies as well, like he would like for us to hang out first before we have sex. He even ask me to to be his financial advisor as he is really bad with money, allowing me to tell me how he should spend his money. However he seems very certain that he does not want a relationship and does encourage me to date other guys. He has agree that we would not sleep with anyone else and if we do, we must let each other know. So it is a big pink area… Any feedback?
[...] need the person out of your life as quickly as possible. Maybe you’ll be acquaintances. Maybe friends with benefits. Maybe good friends. Or maybe, there is no role for you whatsoever. It’s this that I’ve [...]