The Comparison Effect
Speaking of comparing dates to ex’s, here’s an interesting phenomenon. If a girl dates a real asshole, then dates you, you’ll find that you can get away with almost anything slightly above the asshole meter and she’ll love you for it.
Or to put it more formally: if a person has a negative experience with one boyfriend/girlfriend, that person will value the next boyfriend/girlfriend exponentially higher if the next one simply displays slightly better traits.
I call this the Comparison Effect.
Here’s an example. Chloe is going out with Ethan. Ethan is a very aloof guy who never does anything romantic for Chloe. After some time, they break up. Then Chloe meets Zachary. Zachary isn’t the most romantic guy in the world, but he buys her flowers all the time. After having come out of a relationship with an unromantic guy, Chloe totally sees Zachary as a romantic sweetheart and falls for him.
What’s happened here is the Comparison Effect. In Chloe’s mind, she’s unconsciously (or consciously) compared Zachary to Ethan. Since Zachary is a step above Ethan in terms of romantic effort, Zachary is seen as being a romantic sweetheart.
This effect can be very beneficial in certain circumstances. If you’ve been digging a girl for years, and she’s had a loser boyfriend that entire time, you could potentially be the knight in shining armor when she dumps him. You could easily come in and sweep her off her feet by doing all the things he never did - assuming you’re being true to yourself and aren’t doing them just for the sake of getting into her panties.
I’ve been in this situation before. I didn’t even know I was the beneficiary of the Comparison Effect. The girl I was seeing seemed awfully thankful for the little niceties I did. To me, they were pretty commonplace, and they weren’t all that significant. But to her, they meant everything. I later found out that her last boyfriend was a total loser: uncaring, self-centered, and arrogant. Since I wasn’t any of those things (except when I’m drunk off bad tequila), I was a hero by comparison. Awesome.
Have you ever noticed this effect? Ever been the beneficiary of it? Or the unwitting recipient of it?
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment!
Related Posts
- Comparing Dates to Ex’s
- The heartbreak routine
- Making a game of the goal
- The social aspect
- Why can’t we commit?
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