When to ask her out: The stranger
You were just going about your life as normal when she appeared. She may be your waitress, a girl who passed you on the street, the receptionist at the doctor’s office; she wasn’t in your life and then, due to some circumstance, your lives intertwined. You know that your time together is short and you really want to get to know her, but when is the right time to ask her out?
One of the most common mistakes guys make is to ask a stranger out too soon. You can’t simply walk up to a girl that you don’t know and say, “hi, I’m attracted to you and want to take you out.” The approach is completely wrong. Even though you’re being straightforward, that type of approach from a complete stranger is offputting and potentially scary. There is definitely a sense of urgency as you don’t know if you’ll ever see this girl again, but you need to hold back from acting on that urgency.
The first step is, of course, to start a conversation. Conversation is a necessary first step in this process; don’t try to skip it. It’s through conversation that you’ll move from being a stranger to being a nice guy she just met. Continue the conversation for as long as possible without keeping her from doing whatever it is that she’s doing. If she’s working, there may be lulls in conversation as she goes on doing her job. Let her go off and come back if necessary, just don’t disturb whatever it is that she’s doing. Make sure to move the conversation away from “polite stranger talk,” and more into discussions you’d have with friends.
After a few minutes of conversation, make sure you have her name. She may offer it up or you may ask for it. Either way, once you’ve exchanged names, it’s time to ask her out. Instead of asking her out to dinner, make it something simple and small: invite her to grab coffee with you sometime. Going overly romantic with someone you just met can come off as disingenuous or even desperate. Show that you want to get to know her but be casual about it. Once you have an answer, either affirmative or negative, it’s time to leave. Excuse yourself and leave immediately; hanging around too long can get creepy. You’re a busy guy with a lot to do, so say something along the lines of, “I’m actually on my way to meet a friend, but I’ll look forward to seeing you.”
Asking out a stranger is difficult, but with a little practice, it’s definitely possible. Follow the basic steps here and take the plunge.
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment!
Want to discuss love and dating with us? Join our community!
Related Posts
- The new year’s resolution
- When to ask her out: The acquaintance
- Should I tell her how I feel?
- Playing the Wing
- Pursuit Theory: The first phone call
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
What a great advice!! thanks for sharing