Top 10 Things Not to Say on a First Date

  1. If we’re going to be staying out past nine, I’m going to have to call my Mom.

  2. I know we just met and all, but do you have $200 I could borrow?

  3. Will you get a load of that waitress’ rack? It’s huge!

  4. Oh my God, I have those same exact stilettos back home!

  5. You look just like my ex, Mary. Would you mind if I started calling you Mary?

  6. Want to come over to my place and see my alphabetized Star Trek DVD collection?

  7. I hate my neighbor’s cat so much that I just want to shoot it. And my neighbor too.

  8. Oops, sorry. Shouldn’t have had all that Mexican food for lunch. Phew!

  9. Damn, my herpes is acting up again.

  10. So the underage transvestite hooker I got from Thailand said something funny last night…

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