Dating Definition: cougar

Function: noun

Definition: A woman aged 40 years or old who preys on younger men. During a hunt, she can often be spotted by her leopard print outfit, which makes her feel and look younger.

Example: “Sweet, look at all the cougars at this bar. Looks like we’ll be getting our drinks bought for us tonight.”

Background:
The name “cougar” was used because it was associated with the leopard print clothing that was popular among these women to help them feel young. My definition of cougar places the age of the woman starting at 40. I disagree with definitions that state cougars are 35+ because it seems arbitrary. Statistically, the risk of pregnancy complications significantly increases at age 35, however, culturally that age is not very significant. However, age 40 is recognized as “over the hill” and therefore many people have their midlife crisis then. Therefore, major shifts in a person’s own identity occurs so to maintain a sense of their youthfulness, cougars will have plastic surgery, get Botox injections, and wear provocative clothing.

Related article: Older Woman Seeking Boy Toy by Potted Plant


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Comments

Wow. The cougar concept is news to me.
Most 40+ women I know are being pursued online by younger men who say the girls their age only want marriage-family-material trimmings. They desire an older woman who has experienced and transcended those phases and derives more satisfaction in creating a deeper connection.
Do you understand the attraction?

Hmmm, sounds like you may have a definition in the making of younger guys going after cougars. Got a name for it?

Dating a younger man has made me feel wonderful, mine is in his 20s and im n my 40s hes a great lover and very caring

I’d like to get you guys comments. Mind you this site is humorous, so I hope nobody gets offended. But please check it out.

http://www.stuffcougarslike.com

I have only just recently heard of this “cougar” concept, and I have been dating younger men for years. I have noticed, though, especially in the past year that the men come on to me in droves. Most under 25. I don’t look for them, they find me. As far as men expecting you to pay for their drinks; that’s not my experience, they buy my drinks in most cases.

[...] I’m not a cougar yet? (Not that I plan on being the kind of cougar that this link describes, it was just the [...]

The thing about the cougar-boy toy relationship is that cougars shouldn’t expect that their boy toys would marry them. Ultimately, boy toys would look for someone their age. Also, cougars shouldn’t expect their boy toys to flaunt them or even introduce them to their families, especially if they have conservative and old-fashioned parents.

If the relationships are more substantial than “cougar-boy toy”, then yes, there is mutual respect and love. My boyfriend is 28; I’m 46. He is my heart and he can’t stop bragging about me to his friends. (he is also 6’3 and I’m 4’11..hmmm..) He respects me being a business woman and I respect him for his intellect and spontanaeity. Tonight he told me he hopes that we will be together a long time. I hope the same.

I’m 50 and married to a 21 year old. It works if he wants the relationship is mature and in love.

I’m 40 and my boyfriend is 19. I’m very happy but it is work. Too bad family and friends don’t understand our happiness.

I definitely agree with Alex. If you want a sexual relationship with a younger guy, fine. Even if you want an emotional relationship, go for it, but don’t expect it to be like a regular relationship. Don’t expect to meet their friends, definitely don’t expect to meet their parents (I suspect a lot of “stay away from my son you filthy whore!” and such comments) and certainly don’t expect marriage. If you try to make it more than it really is, it won’t last. Even if you do get married…it won’t last if your age is too far apart.
Which brings me to one last thing: DONT go for guys who are young enough to be your son. That’s disgusting. You may as well go out and date your son then, it would be just as disgusting. Be realistic.

Isn’t the rule half one’s age plus 7? So 28 to 46 is close.

The dynamics of this whole age thing have probably been beaten to death. Between consenting adults if this is what they want, who are we to judge. Even when the norms are followed to make everyone happy, relationships still fail at an alarming rate so why even worry.

As for parents and friend, if you can’t defend your choices, don’t see anyone. Period.

I am 36, my boyfriend is 23. We’ve known each other for about 4 years and have been together for a year and a half. Soulmate? Never knew they existed until he came along. We communicate very well. We have fun together. I’m more active than he is most of the time! He can barely keep up with me!! He has always said he could never date anyone his own age, as they are never mature enough. His family is supportive; friends & co-workers have been supportive as well. We are now planning our wedding. Life is short, ya’ll..do what you want. Be with the person that makes you happy. Approval is important on some level, but at the end of the day..not so much. =)

I am 36 dating a 25 yr old and we act like a normal couple. Things are great between us and I would continue things as is, but I do feel that one day he will feel like I am too old for him and want to go another way in his life. At this point I am not sure what I would want either b/c at times he does show his age and it makes me think but for the most part he is very mature and very good with my kids. There are no guarantees in ANY relationship, so I decided to just make the best of it. I mean if I am happy and he is happy than I really don’t care what other people think.

I don’t see the problem with this-men have been dating younger women for years-but now that women are turning the tables..there has to be discussions on this? I am almost 41 and most people think I am way younger. Younger guys hit on me all the time–a 25 year old recently that said his ex was 38. Seems that anything goes now adays as long as no one gets hurt and expects too much. Live and love.

I AM 48 AND MY BOYFRIEND IS 28, WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 5 YEARS AND ARE VERY MUCH IN LOVE. HE IS VERY MATURE AND MY CHILDREN WHO ARE GROWN LOVE HIM AND RESPECT HIM. THIS RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN THE BEST ONE I’VE EVER BEEN IN. YES IVE DATED OLDER MEN THAT TURNED OUT TO BE MEAN, CHEATERS,USERS AND SO ON. HE HAS SHOWN NONE OF THES QUALITIES. HE IS A VERY HARD WORKING MAN THAT TAKES CARE OF ME ALL THE WAY. AND NO I DONT USE HIM FOR MONEY BECAUSE I HAVE AND MAKE MY ON. FINANCIALLY WE DO THINGS TOGETHER AND IT IS NEVER ONE SIDED. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A YOUNGER MAN DATING AN OLDER WOMAN. OLDER MEN HAVE BEEN DATING YOUNGER WOMEN FOR DECADES. SO I DONT SEE THE PROBLEM AT ALL.

Actually, I have a question and I would love someone to give me an honest answer. I am 39 years old (woman) & currently I’m talking to a 26 year old (man). Would I be considered a cougar?

yes yhat is sexy i wish u where talkin to me right now

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