Comments on: Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/08/19/why-men-marry-some-women-and-not-others/ Dating advice, tips and experiences | Dating blogs & forums Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:16:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Sarah http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/08/19/why-men-marry-some-women-and-not-others/comment-page-1/#comment-507 Sarah Sat, 15 Nov 2008 15:58:55 +0000 http://www.datingthoughts.com/?p=63#comment-507 I in a situation with a 48 year old boyfriend. We have been dating for over four and a half years. I went through a second divorce (second marriage was a mistake) and hoooked up with some old friends. He was one of the old friends. I wasn't interested and he pursued and it was like lightning with us...we laughed alot and really enjoyed each other. After the divorce was final we both agreed to put in for another year at our apartments and make the move to be togehter. Marriage was discussed and the saying of "when the future takes us there" was always present. The year passed and at the end of needing to move or renew the lease he said he "just wasn't ready" to get married and to move forward. I was stunned, what does a 48 year old have to be ready for? He took care of ever having children, had been in his job and would retire in about three or four years, has money in the bank to buy a house or to live off of in bad times and has a car. He was not going to school and needed to wait to finish college etc....he just wasnt ready. So, I said okay another six months and you should be able to make up your mind right? and he said, he would think so. The six months passed and he wasnt ready again. So, another three months on the lease and he was faced with major surgery. He had the surgery and I asked him what his thoughts were. We had looked at houses before in the district where my child attends, it was a motivation for me to get back there so she could be bussed, and have the sense of community with all the other kids and to keep continuity for her in the same school district, she was successful there with her grades and the counselors know of her situation with her father not being in her life for a year and a half. I had to drive her every morning to school and my mother picked her up after school. I needed the freedom of my child being picked up by the bus so I could work earlier hours. I get home at 6:30 every night and it is very late as a single parent right now. So, my boyfriend has issue with how expensive the district is to live in...but, there are townhomes to purchase under what he qualifies for but, he will not pay the association fees. There is a house with a garage that won't fit his truck in the neighborhood we both like, it has a rubber roof and it is flat but, he is wigged out that something will happen to the rubber roof and it will leak and have a large cost to pay. There was another house in the same neighborhood that had asbestos shingles but, they are fine unless they are disturbed. There is a reason for every place and house we have seen. So, now I have to make a decision to cut it off or stay like this. I cannot continue. He wants a house that is "affordable" on one income. I have a fulltime good job and he is not taking my income into consideration at all. I am very frustrated. I put my trust, and believed him that we were going to move forward. I feel betrayed but,a guy who is too scared of change and to move forward. So, I move on and grieve the relationship but, know in my heart I did the right thing by not moving in with him to compensate struggling fiancially and also so my child did not see something that was morally not correct until we got married. So, I have no idea if he will ever move forward and I am wasting time...I am sad but, I have to do what I have to do for myself and my child. He has no idea what he is missing out on. I guess the article is correct that guys over fourty don't typically get married. He has two single older guys and he has three married friends, one would think it would be different. I in a situation with a 48 year old boyfriend. We have been dating for over four and a half years. I went through a second divorce (second marriage was a mistake) and hoooked up with some old friends. He was one of the old friends. I wasn’t interested and he pursued and it was like lightning with us…we laughed alot and really enjoyed each other. After the divorce was final we both agreed to put in for another year at our apartments and make the move to be togehter. Marriage was discussed and the saying of “when the future takes us there” was always present. The year passed and at the end of needing to move or renew the lease he said he “just wasn’t ready” to get married and to move forward. I was stunned, what does a 48 year old have to be ready for? He took care of ever having children, had been in his job and would retire in about three or four years, has money in the bank to buy a house or to live off of in bad times and has a car. He was not going to school and needed to wait to finish college etc….he just wasnt ready. So, I said okay another six months and you should be able to make up your mind right? and he said, he would think so. The six months passed and he wasnt ready again. So, another three months on the lease and he was faced with major surgery. He had the surgery and I asked him what his thoughts were. We had looked at houses before in the district where my child attends, it was a motivation for me to get back there so she could be bussed, and have the sense of community with all the other kids and to keep continuity for her in the same school district, she was successful there with her grades and the counselors know of her situation with her father not being in her life for a year and a half. I had to drive her every morning to school and my mother picked her up after school. I needed the freedom of my child being picked up by the bus so I could work earlier hours. I get home at 6:30 every night and it is very late as a single parent right now. So, my boyfriend has issue with how expensive the district is to live in…but, there are townhomes to purchase under what he qualifies for but, he will not pay the association fees. There is a house with a garage that won’t fit his truck in the neighborhood we both like, it has a rubber roof and it is flat but, he is wigged out that something will happen to the rubber roof and it will leak and have a large cost to pay. There was another house in the same neighborhood that had asbestos shingles but, they are fine unless they are disturbed. There is a reason for every place and house we have seen. So, now I have to make a decision to cut it off or stay like this. I cannot continue. He wants a house that is “affordable” on one income. I have a fulltime good job and he is not taking my income into consideration at all. I am very frustrated. I put my trust, and believed him that we were going to move forward. I feel betrayed but,a guy who is too scared of change and to move forward. So, I move on and grieve the relationship but, know in my heart I did the right thing by not moving in with him to compensate struggling fiancially and also so my child did not see something that was morally not correct until we got married. So, I have no idea if he will ever move forward and I am wasting time…I am sad but, I have to do what I have to do for myself and my child. He has no idea what he is missing out on. I guess the article is correct that guys over fourty don’t typically get married. He has two single older guys and he has three married friends, one would think it would be different.

]]> By: Potted Plant http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/08/19/why-men-marry-some-women-and-not-others/comment-page-1/#comment-271 Potted Plant Mon, 25 Aug 2008 06:43:10 +0000 http://www.datingthoughts.com/?p=63#comment-271 This still doesn't explain why Heidi Klum is married to Seal... :) This still doesn’t explain why Heidi Klum is married to Seal…

]]> By: Jenny http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/08/19/why-men-marry-some-women-and-not-others/comment-page-1/#comment-246 Jenny Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:36:24 +0000 http://www.datingthoughts.com/?p=63#comment-246 Time and time again I date guys that are not looking for the same thing that I am. Does anyone know a good dating service that members have the same goals ( long or short term relationship) and are open about it? Time and time again I date guys that are not looking for the same thing that I am. Does anyone know a good dating service that members have the same goals ( long or short term relationship) and are open about it?

]]> By: Mr. Write http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/08/19/why-men-marry-some-women-and-not-others/comment-page-1/#comment-242 Mr. Write Wed, 20 Aug 2008 07:58:30 +0000 http://www.datingthoughts.com/?p=63#comment-242 Repeat after me: "I will no longer do anyone's dirty dishes! I will no longer do anyone's dirty dishes! I will no longer do anyone's dirty dishes!" Now go out and find the man you deserve! Repeat after me: “I will no longer do anyone’s dirty dishes! I will no longer do anyone’s dirty dishes! I will no longer do anyone’s dirty dishes!”

Now go out and find the man you deserve!

]]> By: sexAFTERsix http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/08/19/why-men-marry-some-women-and-not-others/comment-page-1/#comment-241 sexAFTERsix Wed, 20 Aug 2008 07:12:36 +0000 http://www.datingthoughts.com/?p=63#comment-241 "They want the companionship, but not the commitment. The dinner & dessert, but none of the dirty dishes. And they are often repeat offenders." Sigh. Now I know why I end up doing the dishes. I thought it was because I enjoyed it. “They want the companionship, but not the commitment. The dinner & dessert, but none of the dirty dishes. And they are often repeat offenders.”

Sigh. Now I know why I end up doing the dishes. I thought it was because I enjoyed it.

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