Comments on: Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others

By: Carmen

Carmen — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 06:45:40 +0000

I im in a similar situation, I have been dating with a 43 years old man. We are very great together, happy together but he doesnt want to get married. “He often tells women, up front, he never intends to marry, so if and when he decides he wants to cut out, she has no reason to complain. ” You are right. He told me up front that he has no interest in getting married. I lie to myself. I thought I could change his mine by my love and my caring but I was totally wrong. I have been broken up with him many time because of marriage to give him presure. But at the end, im the loser. Im still with him He gave me 2 choices” NO Marriage or you can break up if you want to, it’s your decision”. Im feel painful but Im not strong enough to leave him, i love him a lot. Anyway, Im making situation worse. I asked him that “do you love me”, He refused to answer and tell me. He is fine to see me cry all the time but NOT answer my question. I know he doesnt love me, he just likes me. I told him that if u dont answer me, it means you dont love me. He answered me that he didnt say it but it doesnt mean he didnt love me. Can you believe it? I dont think so. I have been with him 3 years but he has never said LOVE me even at once. 1 week ago, he confirmed with me that he doesnt want to get married ( in the past, when i asked him if u dont want to get married, i will break up and he answered me he is not sure or kept silent). Then I said if you dont want to get married, I accept but i want to move in with you so that i know you are serious with me (i come to his place and spend most of the time together), I want a key to your appartment. All what I get is a NO. i felt rejected. I cant keep lying to myself and keep building a hope that I can change his mind one day.All what you said are right, he is over 40, his parrents got divorced. At the moment ( im trying and it have been a week already), i still contact him, still come to his appartment when i need to do something, then i go back to my place and sleep, im trying my best not to spend over night at his place, im trying my best to forget him, I know I have to move on to the man I deserve, the man who loves me and need me. More than that, I have to respect myself, I cant keep doing this, I cant keep going with this relationship. If i dont respect myself, he will never does.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 15:58:55 +0000

I in a situation with a 48 year old boyfriend. We have been dating for over four and a half years. I went through a second divorce (second marriage was a mistake) and hoooked up with some old friends. He was one of the old friends. I wasn’t interested and he pursued and it was like lightning with us…we laughed alot and really enjoyed each other. After the divorce was final we both agreed to put in for another year at our apartments and make the move to be togehter. Marriage was discussed and the saying of “when the future takes us there” was always present. The year passed and at the end of needing to move or renew the lease he said he “just wasn’t ready” to get married and to move forward. I was stunned, what does a 48 year old have to be ready for? He took care of ever having children, had been in his job and would retire in about three or four years, has money in the bank to buy a house or to live off of in bad times and has a car. He was not going to school and needed to wait to finish college etc….he just wasnt ready. So, I said okay another six months and you should be able to make up your mind right? and he said, he would think so. The six months passed and he wasnt ready again. So, another three months on the lease and he was faced with major surgery. He had the surgery and I asked him what his thoughts were. We had looked at houses before in the district where my child attends, it was a motivation for me to get back there so she could be bussed, and have the sense of community with all the other kids and to keep continuity for her in the same school district, she was successful there with her grades and the counselors know of her situation with her father not being in her life for a year and a half. I had to drive her every morning to school and my mother picked her up after school. I needed the freedom of my child being picked up by the bus so I could work earlier hours. I get home at 6:30 every night and it is very late as a single parent right now. So, my boyfriend has issue with how expensive the district is to live in…but, there are townhomes to purchase under what he qualifies for but, he will not pay the association fees. There is a house with a garage that won’t fit his truck in the neighborhood we both like, it has a rubber roof and it is flat but, he is wigged out that something will happen to the rubber roof and it will leak and have a large cost to pay. There was another house in the same neighborhood that had asbestos shingles but, they are fine unless they are disturbed. There is a reason for every place and house we have seen. So, now I have to make a decision to cut it off or stay like this. I cannot continue. He wants a house that is “affordable” on one income. I have a fulltime good job and he is not taking my income into consideration at all. I am very frustrated. I put my trust, and believed him that we were going to move forward. I feel betrayed but,a guy who is too scared of change and to move forward. So, I move on and grieve the relationship but, know in my heart I did the right thing by not moving in with him to compensate struggling fiancially and also so my child did not see something that was morally not correct until we got married. So, I have no idea if he will ever move forward and I am wasting time…I am sad but, I have to do what I have to do for myself and my child. He has no idea what he is missing out on. I guess the article is correct that guys over fourty don’t typically get married. He has two single older guys and he has three married friends, one would think it would be different.

By: Potted Plant

Potted Plant — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 06:43:10 +0000

This still doesn’t explain why Heidi Klum is married to Seal…

By: Jenny

Jenny — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:36:24 +0000

Time and time again I date guys that are not looking for the same thing that I am. Does anyone know a good dating service that members have the same goals ( long or short term relationship) and are open about it?

By: Mr. Write

Mr. Write — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 07:58:30 +0000

Repeat after me: “I will no longer do anyone’s dirty dishes! I will no longer do anyone’s dirty dishes! I will no longer do anyone’s dirty dishes!”

Now go out and find the man you deserve!

By: sexAFTERsix

sexAFTERsix — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 07:12:36 +0000

“They want the companionship, but not the commitment. The dinner & dessert, but none of the dirty dishes. And they are often repeat offenders.”

Sigh. Now I know why I end up doing the dishes. I thought it was because I enjoyed it.