A single’s frustration
When you’re single, you tend to go through a large range of emotions. Sometimes, it’s great to be single, spending time with friends and doing whatever you want. Other times, being single is miserable, lonely, and depressing…you’re tired of being single. Somewhere along the way, frustration creeps into the picture. This is usually after failed attempts to date and change your single status. And I, giver of dating advice and theories, am not immune to that.
Last night I had a realization: I haven’t had a date this year. Since the calendar changed to read 2008, I have not been on a single date. Not one. It’s now halfway through August, eight months into the year (four months left!), and I haven’t had a date. It’s hard not to get frustrated about that. Nevermind that not having been on a date also means not having kissed someone this year and not having had any sex this year…
My lackluster dating life isn’t because I haven’t tried. I asked a girl out in January, the girl who managed to get completely under my skin, and she said no. I held my breath hoping she’d change her mind, but alas, it never happened. Then there was the random meetup at the super market. We agreed to meet up but she bailed and gave me the, “I’m sorry, I’m busy from now til forever” excuse. And then, a girl that I met at a party who gave me her number and then proceeded to never call me back (even though a friend-in-common told me that I might actually get a call back…gee, how kind of her).
Now, I have a reasonable opinion of myself. I know I’m certainly not the most perfect guy in the world, but I do know that I have a lot to offer. I think that I present myself well and I know that I don’t have body odor. A good friend of mine has told me she has many friends for whom she knows exactly why they’re single, but for me, she has no idea. That’s a double helping of frustration.
I’ve been around the dating block enough times to know that there’s peaks and valleys. This period will undoubtedly come to an end at some point in time, but for the time being, frustration reigns supreme.
What do you think? Leave a comment!
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Comments
Yeah, I am tired of people who find me on personals sites and say that I am cute or something run like hell when I remind them of the fact that I am a transsexual. That hurts.
I am tired of people that I connect with online, even to the point of saying “I love you” and they disappear without even a word. That hurts.
I am tired of people who say they want a real, serious relationship but up and leave in a couple of weeks without a word. That hurts.
Being single SUCKS.
Yes being single sucks after awhile.I was married for 23yrs and really wanted to have some time and space tomyself,well now I have it….for the past 3years.
Its funny how one gets used to having another person around to share everything with,food,life experiences,warmth when needed,then poof gone.Life for me as a now 48yr old is very different indeed.I have done some Dating and for the most part is fun to meet and connect with new people,some you just want to say….”look over there”..then run the opposite direction…..lol
But as one poster put it,there are highs and lows,just take the good with the not so good and find things to do that will pass time and take your mind off being alone.
Find hobbies you can do by yourself,go for walks near a park or at a mall where there is other people around,go to the public pool for a swim or sauna.
There is alot to do rather than staying home feeling alone with the TV channel changer.Just gotta get out where others are,or better yet whenever you are around couples who are arguing,fighting,at war with each other,be glad you are Single!…works for me whenever I see that going on.
So chin up people,enjoy your hassle free,eat what you want when you want,go where you want life,nobody to complain to you or annoy you and your Man cave is actually bigger now!!
So suck it up Guys and someone at somepoint will cross your path and then comes the point of no return,and you will be writing blogs on other topics….like how you miss your single life……lol
Cheers….J
I think I got married because I could not stand dating. Which, did not work out, so, I am back in the dating world again. And can’t stand it, again. Dating takes up so much time, time I could use being at the gym, taking classes at the University, studying, working extra hours, working on my house, being with my child. There is only so much time in a week, how do you fit in dating two or three times a week to meet someone? Even once a week is alot. Then, you meet someone with some “potential”, and start spending more time with that person, and it takes about 3-4 months to realize, this is not the right person for me, all that time completely wasted. Time to start over again. And sex? Missing that plenty. Almost stayed with someone very dysfunctional just because the sex was so good and easy.
Still dating, hate it, would like to meet a nice normal person, and start a life.
My definition of nice and normal? Has a job, keeps his home reasonably clean, likes to go out once in awhile. Not having high standards. But, at age 45, most men my age want bambi girl age 25, so I am stuck with men who are over 50 or older, and most of them have more baggage than JFK.
Sad. Sexually frustrated all the time.
Being single seems to be worse for me as I work at a job where I deal with a lot of darkness and ugliness (counselling guys on parole). A lot of my co-workers have partners and family to go home to; I have nobody at all and it’s starting to get frustrating. Hobbies and friends just don’t take my mind off work the same way an intimate relationship would.
It’s not easy being single. For a long time it was great but as the years have worn on and time has passed now I’m just sick of relationships not working out and dating turning into nightmares. 17+ years and no success yet! I feel doomed to remaining single for the remainder of my life and I’m not happy about it at all. I’ve done everything one can think of to enjoy alone. Gone to dinner, movies, backpacking with groups, hiking, cycling, gym, classes at the University, you name it I’ve probably gotten involved to fill my life. Does it feel full ~ NOPE! I’m tired, I’m discouraged and I’m beat always trying to find something to occupy my time and amuse myself. It would be so nice to have a great friend in my life to share things with. Is that really so hard to find… apparently in my world it is! I’m so discouraged.
Been single for 3 years, after a 10 year marriage. Dated a couple of women this year. Had sex one time with my former boss on our first date 2 weeks ago… She is four years older than me. She lives over 2 hours away and we text and talk almost every day. Being single has never been something I enjoy. I am old fashioned and love being married as God intended us to be. Yes, I get frustrated because I love sharing life with a woman and having her to hold onto… But I don’t have that in my life right now. I get pretty down sometimes. I have old values, and hate going against them by having pre-marital sex just to remind myself that I am still alive… Our society sees it as something that is acceptable, like test driving a vehicle or having your cake “or someone elses cake” and eating it too. These actions cause harm to people, whether they know it or not, or just don’t care. I can only hope to find a diamond in the rough. A woman who values a bond of marriage and writes it on her heart so no one can change her mind… I may be searching awhile…
I should add that comment to the “7 Things You Never Say to Your Single Friends” post – I don’t get why you are still single!! I love it.
Sorry to hear you are frustrated. Dating does indeed have its highs and lows. And just like any low, this low will pass.