Passion: The Cure for Dating Apathy?
Breathlessly, we tango across the apartment. The destination may be a foregone conclusion, but we revel in the sexual tension anyway. I can actually feel us both smirking (in that sly, knowing way) as we kiss deeply. The urgency is bliss. After all, we are crossing the forbidden Friendship Line – again – an addiction to the chaotic passion that started years ago.
I start to pull back from his embrace to quickly close the blinds…but, I forget his hand is tangled within my long hair, and we both stumble into the window and fall, ripping half my blinds from the wall…
In the morning I wake up and stare at the blinds on the floor with a weird sort of pride.
Perhaps the boredom of recent dating was just an anomaly! This was a sure sign that the passionate woman I once was is still in there somewhere! There is joie de vivre to be had in my mid-30’s, spontaneity, breaking rules, living for today, yes, yes yes!
I tell myself the previous night was a perfect “refresher” in the midst of dating boredom, a welcome reprieve to the nights I was out with BLAH men (on a few of these dates I actually contemplated how much laundry I could be getting done if I had just stayed home). Mr. X was one of my closest and most trusted friends – I love him, just not in the “romantic love” kind of way (and trust me, this is mutual and has been discussed at length). So, it is a safe way to put some zest back in my life, right? I can deal with potential complications later. For now, this is exactly what the doctor ordered.
I’m humming “What’s Love Got to do with it” as I roll over to gaze at Mr. X still sleeping. My view fills with luxurious, dark hair and perfect lips in a semi-smile. I gently touch his skin – it is absolute velvet.
But I don’t feel anything. I mean NOTHING. Not happiness, or regret, nay a tinge of hope, or even fondness, just an emotional flat-line. I hear the ER nurse in my head screaming “We’re losing her!” and I desperately try to conjure up any kind of feeling – any at all – for Mr. X, for the exquisitely dangerous evening, something.
After about 20 minutes I realize there may be something more broken than my blinds. Uh oh. Maybe my dates weren’t Blah after all – maybe I was Blah. Shit. That’s a bigger problem. Maybe I’m not being fair to the guys I’ve been dating if I’m so disconnected.
I think I’m just apathetic after years of being in the Limbo Zone of non-commitment and dating. You know how zoo animals get when they just circle around in the same cage for years? They don’t even look up when people pass by. That’s me.
I actually Google this phenomenon with animals in a zoo, and guess what? Even when you give these animals new stimuli, they do always not react, at least not initially. It many cases, it takes repeated attempts to solicit a meaningful response.
So perhaps the cure to my dating apathy is more passion. I’m not sure “passion” requires breathless tangos, but it does require more than an afternoon coffee date.
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment!
Want to discuss love and dating with us? Join our community!
Related Posts
- The Singles Blues
- Debunking “When Harry Met Sally . . . ”
- The Wonderlic Dating Exam
- Should I tell her how I feel?
- My favorite date idea
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
[...] thought I’d miss passion the most. I don’t. I miss the moments of emotional love – you know, when your partner [...]