Surviving The Awkward First Kiss

Potted Plant’s latest article “The First Kiss” reminded me how critical that moment is during the dating process.  The first kiss sets the tone for the possibility of anything thereafter.  Some men are great at flirting and creating sexual tension, then smoothly transition into that first kiss.  Others, as Potted Plant illustrated, ill at flirtation takes a bad situation and make it worse by attempting to execute a kiss oblivious of the chemistry between them, hence the awkward kiss.  The kiss rather on couch, door, or car is never awkward  if the sexual tension is high and it’s anticipated and expected. The awkwardness happens only when it feels forced because it’s the protocal to share a kiss at the door at the end of a date. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve also had a mediocre date turn amazing because of his kissing prowess. But let’s be honest, that doesn’t happen often as a great kiss starts before our lips ever meet.

After an awkward first date, its easy to go on a second date giving him the benefit of the doubt, but surviving an awkward kiss is much harder.  The kiss is where our chemistry is solidified, where friends become possible lovers, fantasies become a reality, or in worst cases, where a date-hopeful becomes just a friend.  That kiss is more than two lips locking together, its the moment where many women decide on the fate of the relationship.  Unlike an awkward conversation, that kiss is what I might be fantasizing about when I’m getting ready for a date.  Instead, when the butterflies in my stomach is replaced by feelings of apprehension rather than anticipation, the 2nd date is already tainted before it begins.

After such a death blow to the date – the awkward first kiss, is it salvageable? The answer is yes, but the stakes are that much higher.  The only way to erase the memories of that first awkward kiss is to deliver a truly momentous 2nd kiss.  But how does a great kiss happen?

Executing a great kiss, as I mentioned earlier happens before your lips ever meet. It begins the minute you create the thought of the possibility, build the anticipation and desire, and finally the delivery that makes the fantasy a reality.  Surviving an awkward kiss is to create the chemistry and sexual tension that was missing from the first kiss, and it should start before the next date.

Text or email her, and when given an opportunity either slip in a sexual innuendo or something to that affect.  A friend that I had never thought of dating came to visit me and crashed at my place.  When I asked when he wakes up, he replied that anytime was appropriate if I woke him up with a kiss. Something I had never considered before, but he planted a seed, which I spent half the night pondering. He created sexual tension where none had existed before.

During a date, there are a lot of opportunities to develop anticipation by hinting at the kiss that is yet to come.  I was on a first date with someone and he took me to a Giants game. The stadium was really noisy and a conversation was impossible.  However, all throughout the game he would glance and smile at me ever so often with this goofy grin.  About 4th inning, he leaned over and gave me a peck on my cheek. It wasn’t romantic or even sexy, but it sure was cute.  It happened fast and because it was in a loud, crowded place, it also didn’t create an awkward moment. That kiss burned on my cheek and for the rest of the evening I felt his lips.  Believe it or not, he didn’t try to kiss me that night, but that got me thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.  He created sexual tension so fierce, I couldn’t wait to see him again and make out like we were in high school.

I’m obviously not suggesting chemistry can be created, but if there’s a mutual attraction, it’s a way to deepen that chemistry and build anticipation for not-so awkward kiss. Before embarking on creating sexual tension, you might consider checking out Potted Plant’s French Kissing 101 post.

7 thoughts on “Surviving The Awkward First Kiss”

  1. Kissing is not only to create chemistry and begin intimacy, but also as you hinted with your article, to put at ease any sexual awkwardness and tension there might be. I enjoyed your article. Very refreshing.

  2. I honestly believe that there is something about what is loosely termed “chemistry” when it comes to the first kiss. In fact not just the first one but kissing in general. Call me crazy but I have noticed that my longest lasting relationships have been with women who actually tasted good to kiss. I know that sounds strange but I am absolutely serious. You could say that one might be more likely to continue someone who tastes/smells good but I feel that it is more a case of the “right” taste rather than the “best” one. Truly a matter of chemical compatibility.

  3. well i have never had any 6hing close to a kiss,not even on the cheeck and when im with my boyfriend all he talks about is kissing,and i want it to be natural what should i do?!?!?

  4. Kissing uses body language. You can flirt with words for a peck, but a first kiss can happen after you establish solid eye contact. Get comfortable looking at your boyfriend eye to eye and let your body do the rest. Very first kisses are almost always full of nervousness. That’s natural.

  5. So my boyfriend kissed me at school and I’m not the best kisser. This was my first kiss and I don’t know if I will survive tomorrow. PLZ HELP AS SON AS POSSIBLE!

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