Sex School

“I am sitting on the floor with 18 other women… taking a class on how to give a good hand job.”

Now THAT is how you start an article.

A friend just forwarded me the article “What I Learned in Sex School” and wanted to share some of the tantalizing tidbits I’ve taken from it, so that the women in the audience can drive us men even more wild than you already do:

  • Tap into all your senses

    Isolate and indulge each sense. The more intimate you become with each, the more pleasure you’ll receive from each. One lesson involves blindfolding your partner while you are the “sensory explorer.” Another involves rubbing something on each other’s skin, like a feather or honey. Yum.

  • Touch “everything but”

    “The object of this class is to drive a man insane,” says the instructor. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about! And just how do you do that? By touching everything but his penis. Ooo…

  • Use both hands

    “When you’re ready to handle his man bone, don’t be afraid to use both hands — well lubed up.” If that isn’t the best sentence ever, I don’t know what is. A suggested technique is: “With one hand or two, gently twist from side to side. Next, use your palms to apply even pressure. Stroke up and off in one swift movement (schwing!), then stroke straight down — you want to give a slight sense of penetration.” Awesome.

  • A little clothing is sexier than naked

    This is so true. Pull your panties down a bit. Lift your bra up. Hike up your skirt. All of that will drive your man totally friggin crazy. Hell, just writing about this is driving me crazy. Whew.

  • Put your fantasies on paper

    The instructor recommends writing down one or two sex acts you’d really like to see happen on a set of index cards. These are your sex cards. Examples include “I would like to receive oral” or “I would like you to use a vibrator on me.” Then write down a few fantasies of yours. Like the “sex with a cop” fantasy. These are your fantasy cards. In their class, all participants exchange cards to learn new ideas. But you can easily use these on each other for some random fun.

  • Don’t force dirty talk

    “With dirty talk, you have to find your own voice. Don’t imitate what people say in bad porn, like, ‘give it to me, you big stud.’ It should be organic, natural.” Even saying something like “I’m going into the living room” in a sexy voice can be very alluring.

  • Switch up your oral sex positions

    “If you think you don’t like receiving oral sex — or your guy doesn’t like giving it — you might simply need to find an angle that works for you.” Simple as that. And trying out new positions can be a lot of fun too.

  • Use little extras to enhance your O

    Two words: sex toys. Lean about them, use them, and enjoy them. ’nuff said.

  • Give yourself a hand

    Masturbation is wonderful, not only to make yourself feel good, but to teach yourself about your body. The more you know, the more you can teach your partner. And the more intense your orgasms will be!

  • Tell him what you like

    This is an old golden rule. Communication isn’t only important for everyday relationship issues, it’s also important in the bedroom. Talk to your man and tell him what you like. If you don’t tell him, he’ll never know. And no, no guy out there is a mind-reader.

  • It’s all about the tongue

    If you’re performing oral sex on the guy, straight-on vacuum-cleaner sucking isn’t always enough. Use your tongue too. “Flatten your tongue and pretend you are licking a delicious ice cream cone. Then try the ‘pointy-tongue’ technique to stroke up and down and side to side. Do different strokes and touches, like flicking your tongue over the head.” AWESOME.

  • Take it slooow

    The operative word in striptease is “tease.” When you’re trying to rile your man sexually, move in slo-mo. Touch yourself slowly. Gyrate your hips slowly. Undress slowly. You’ll drive him crazy and make him want you even more.

  • Unleash your inner sex goddess

    “Every woman is sexier if she believes she is.” So true. You are sexy. You’re a walking sex pot. A sex machine. If you feel and know you’re sexy, then everything you do will be sexy to your man. Remember, there’s nothing sexier than a confident woman.

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