Making a game of the goal
When you’re single, dating seems like a game with a single goal: to find a partner. And when you focus on that single goal, it seems rather daunting. What if you had some other goals to focus on instead? Here’s a few ideas for switching up your dating regime:
- Create a “yes” time. A “yes” time is a time when you say yes to things that you would normally say no to; that’s your goal. Imagine someone inviting you out to do something you either don’t like or have no interest in. Instead of saying no to that opportunity, say yes and go. If you’re a girl, this may mean saying yes to a guy who you normally wouldn’t go out with. Pick out a specific amount of time (a month, two months, etc.) and designate it as a “yes” time. You’ll find that you’ll meet more people and maybe even find a few dates just be changing your default answer.
- Introduce yourself. The goal here is to introduce yourself to a certain amount of people during a particular event. Introducing yourself means, “hi, I’m Zack, I just wanted to introduce myself.” Hell, go ahead and tell them that you’re trying to meet 10 people that night and let them know which number they are. You don’t have to have a conversation, just do the introduction and move along to the next person. You’ll find this is easier because an introduction takes less than 15 seconds and doesn’t include the stress of needing to come up with banter. No banter, no attempt to get a number = no stress. Just enjoy meeting some new people.
- Recite Lines. We all have favorite lines we’ve heard either from other people, from movies, from plays, or any other number of sources. These aren’t just pickup lines; they’re part of your anecdotal encyclopedia (think, “are you feeling luck, punk?”). Try to work those lines into conversations you have with other people. The goal is to make the line make sense given the context of the conversation. As a side effect, you’ll learn how to move the conversation in a particular direction and then get a kick out of yourself for actually using a favorite line.
The bottom line here is that switching up your goal when trying to meet people can be a lot of fun. It takes a lot of the pressure off while giving you something tangible to focus on. Can you think of any other fun games to play?
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment!
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I think the “introduce yourself” tip is very useful, because like you said, frees you from keep following the conversation, something that sometimes is not easy.