Why Men Cheat
Redbook recently summarized marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman’s latest book “The Truth about Cheating“. Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and non-cheating husbands to get at the real reasons behind men’s infidelity — including what cheating men say could have prevented them from straying. Here’s the post it summary:
48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.
Really? I guess so. Men, like women, are driven by emotional satisfaction and want to be appreciated and shown that they are important. The only difference is men don’t express this as openly as women do.
66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair.
Why isn’t this number higher? I mean if you are married then you basically are going home to your wife after being with someone else. How can you NOT feel guilty? It probably requires some type of de-sensitization your partner – and that’s a slippery slope in itself.
77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated.
This makes complete sense to me. We tend to hang around people that are similar to us and share common interests.
40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.
Goodness. This takes “getting paid” to a whole other level. At first, you might think that this number would be less. I mean who wants to be part of office gossip or have their professional reputation ruined with banging the CEO’s secretary. But it seems that people don’t really care too much about this. Work is easy and full of people with the same interests and schedule – it’s so convenient!
Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife
This was the most interesting stat to me. Women AGONIZE about how they look and compare themselves to each other mercilessly. Looks like men don’t seem to be doing that nearly as much as we do.
In summary, I think this survey debunks what we women have known, but never wanted to admit – a man’s cheating isn’t purely physical – there are often emotional/social reasons for it. And that’s where the analysis and conversations get scary and personal.
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