Things She Doesn’t Need to Know

All relationships should be open and honest, but there are just some things that you don’t need to tell us, cuz it will only cause you more problems.  As much as we women say we are open minded and confident, there are just some things we don’t need to know:

1. You liked our friend first:  Most women conceptually know there are hotter women out there than themselves.  And some of our friends.  What we don’t need to know is that we were second choice.  Even if we’ve been with you for years and are happily married or in a committed relationship, there is no need to tell us you thought our best friend was hot and wanted to ask her out.

2. The one that got away:  My long-term ex has often referred to me as the one that got away.  While it may seem romantic to most, it certainly didn’t to one of his girlfriends post potted plant.  It didn’t seem that romantic to me either.  If it got away, let it go away.

3. When/how often you masturbate:  We know you do this.  We know you know we know.  We don’t need to do the details.  While even the most confident and secure women understand that masturbating is natural and that all guys do it, there is still this delusion that men do it because they are sexually unsatisfied.  It’s wrong, I know.  But we think this . So when you tell us how much and when you masturbate, it makes us feel like we are inadequate or not pleasing you.  Keep your solos to yourself.

4. The best sex you ever had:  If it’s not with us, then don’t tell us.  Furthermore, this is when it is okay to lie in relationships and tell the woman you are with that she is the best sex you ever had.  This lie will make everyone’s life okay.

Relationships are all about open communication - and I’m all about that.  But don’t be a moron.

Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment!

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Comments

I’d also add:

5) The number of girls you’ve slept with

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