Trying Something New

I’m trying online dating again, and somewhere between reading emails like, “Hey Kitten, ur sooo cute” and the next one, “I’m into erotic sex acts, so let me cut to the chase…”  I thought, man, there has GOT to be a better way out of the single blues.  In the same email queue, thankfully, was a meeting notice for our group’s next surf session, so I clicked to read that instead.  This time, though, I took a closer look at the service we use called Meetup.

It’s not a dating site, it’s a network of social user groups.  People meet up to explore common interests - whether it’s specific outdoor activities, intellectual debates, or regular meetings around a particular hobby, there seems to be something for everyone.  Even better, you can start your own Meetup group, and you’d be surprised how fast new members join.  If there’s one thing that’s glaringly obvious here in the Bay Area, it’s that there’s a lot of single folks who are craving companionship just like us, and sometimes it takes just a little initiative to bring us together.  The service is extremely user friendly, and I’m a big fan of Meetup’s RSVP feature, it gives you a good idea of who’s coming to any particular event.

I feel like their marketing is for those of us hiding behind our computers at night, and I love their internet tab tag line - “Use the Internet to get off the Internet”.  Their home page tag line, though, is the one that really hits home:

Maybe it’s time to for a little less face-to-screen and a little more face-to-face.

Good point.  Although I’m always up for different activities, I must admit, I’ve been so discouraged lately that I find random internet reading is more rewarding than dating.  I’ve also been indulging way too much in DVR recordings of Dancing With the Stars.  The thing is, it’s hard to get out of your comfort zone, and honestly, I hate when people tell me to “just do activities you love, then love will find you”.   Pfffttt!  I already am the world’s biggest flake with my own friend network, now I’m going to go “meet up” with a bunch of strangers?

Yet, my next door neighbor is a good example of why I should try something new like Meetup.  She’s a walking social user group experiment, trying new activities and meeting new people every week.  What’s interesting about her is how she incorporates her attitude toward trying new social connections/events into her choices in dating.  She has the same optimism and openeness in choosing who to date that she does in trying new activities.  Some of the guys she dates I would have never picked out for her, but I have to admit, they all bring something very unique to the table.  She’s outside her comfort zone in daily activities, so she has no problem going outside her comfort zone for dating, and as a reward, she’s getting enriched by the diversity of experiences - I’m being called Kitten.   Sure, she has a lot of the same disappointments I do, but it’s been interesting to see how many of these dates turn into meaningful friendships because she looked beyond the traditional short list.  Right now, I don’t just have a short list of attributes I’m looking for in a partner, I have a short list of things I’m willing to try outside of my comfort zone to potentially meet my future soulmate.  I think it’s time to try something new.

Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment!

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