reBOUNDing
Mr. Write’s got this theory that I’m a reBOUND reWOUND addict.
He may be right.
See folks, Mr. Write constantly kicks my ass about how I have this nasty habit of hitting the rewind button when it comes to my dating life by reBOUNDing. It’s my coping mechanism. As in “coping” with my commitment-phobia. Especially after tossing and turning the last six or so odd years over the EX-factor.
True, shaking off my terrible habit of revisiting relations with the EX-factor was somewhat synonymous to a HEROIN addiction.
It took a lot of weaning off though. After the EX, came the exit-my-emotions strategy # 1. The sex-sans-strings-attached tryst. This came with a twist: cords made of titanium. It probably wasn’t the greatest idea to detach myself from such an addicting presence (i.e. the EX-factor) by then flip-flopping with the guy I didn’t realize was my emotional CRACK. So much for that attempt, since it would would later prove to be a fatally flawed decision.
So the pursuit for the most pure form of ECSTASY was what I tried to turn to next. Twas not the answer for a speedy recovery. The one-night-stand that wouldn’t settle for just one night. Especially when he reassured me over and over that he was “PERFECT REBOUND MATERIAL.” Two words: FALSE ADVERTISEMENT.
My last attempt at substituting my relational tug-o-wars was to flirt with the equivalents to WEED and CIGARETTES. According to Mr. Write, both seem harmless at first — one’s mellow and relaxing while the cancer sticks are around for social reasons.
I tried to prove Mr. Write wrong on this one, thinking maybe I wasn’t clear enough about the ground rules for picking the prime REBOUND candidate. I decided to do the friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend thing. For all of you trying to keep up? That’s almost six degrees of separation. I was a smidgen off. Math was NEVER my forte to begin with. SO… I tried to be HONEST and straightforward with my intentions… to no avail. Friend-of-a-friend-times-four tells me he’s not looking for any attachments right now. Which was fine until his actions spoke volumes, since they didn’t match up with his words.
So Mr. Write? You’re RIGHT:
You told me there’s NO such things as NO strings attached.
You warned me NOT to be careless with other people’s hearts.
You called me out on the singles blunder that SO many of us don’t want to admit: being ADDICTED to reBOUNDing. Doing the “reBOUND reWOUND” dance? It binds and winds up with one-too-many casualties.
Your words DO sink in. They do. I now realize and am slightly traumatized by your simple golden rule about guys: don’t listen to a thing they say AND always watch what they do. I get it now. Really. I do.
Guess I’m going to check myself into relationship rehab.
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