The First Sleepover

Posted by Potted Plant
on December 13, 2008

The first sleepover is always nerve racking.  Sometimes it is spontaneous and sometimes it is planned.  Whatever the catalyst, it is the time when skin and souls are exposed.  Boys, here are some tips to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible:

  1. Invest in nice sheets: Holes in your sheets or nasty sheets with stains are going to ruin any hot and heated moment.
  2. Keep some basics on hand: Women like to brush their teeth (extra toothbrush) and use lotion.  Keep them stocked in your place so the morning lends itself to brunch and other fun stuff.
  3. Have Umbrellas handy: It’s your penis – it’s your job to keep it covered.  Buy a jumbo stock and costco and make sure there is never an awkward moment looking for some cover (ie. don’t store them in the basement – a 15 minute walk from your bed).
  4. Keep your bathroom clean: This doesn’t sound romantic at all, but women have to sit when they pee – don’t make us squat in your bathroom or do calisthenics to avoid the grime in your bathroom.
  5. Pack up the Past: Women are observant. We are going to notice  the pink teddy bear and sweater in your closet from your past girlfriend.  And we will likely obsess about it.  No one is asking you to get rid of your past – but put it in a discreet place.

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Comments
Comment by Carlos Xuma on December 17, 2008 @ 1:04 am

Umbrellas handy??? I don’t understand this part. What does an umbrella have to do with mr.penis.

Cover..? basement..??? All very confusing

Comment by Mr. Write on December 17, 2008 @ 9:51 am

@Carlos, a penis umbrella is a condom. Just substitute the word “condom” for “umbrella”.

Comment by Mark on December 20, 2008 @ 5:14 pm

#5 is pretty funny. So does this mean I should get rid of the pink stuffed animals in my bedroom?

Comment by Dean on July 7, 2009 @ 1:05 pm

God has a Finger, Eyes and Mouth. Does he also have a Penis? Being in His Immage and likeness, does he also have the same sexual thrills? He sees more of porn than anyone in the universe.
When you are 80 and able to still have a climax, don’t you thank Him for still having that ability ?
Our redemer refered to one of his apostles as John the beloved. Did they masturbate together?

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