I was recently told by a guy returning from an “all boys trip” to Florida, that one of the guys’ wives drove them to the airport. It was an hour-long drive and she ended up asking them questions about their interactions. Not so much about what they did. More so about their conversations, swapping of stories, lives back home, etc.

At the end of the commute, one of the guys turned to the others and said — “Thank GOD [she] grilled us. Now I have something to tell my woman once I land. She’s always asking me how [these trips] and you guys are. Now I’ve got something to say.”

I believe this says a LOT about the difference between the way guys interact with each other. They’ll get together as a group and just shoot the shit. And that’s all you’ll get. Plenty of hanging out, with a lot of shooting the shit.

Now, guys hanging out one-on-one? That’s different. And for another post.

Back to girls — when gals hang out? It’s not as simple. I agree with your rant. Not all girls are bitches. So the bitchiness between women? That stems from lack of respect. Are you able to develop the kind of relationship that you can call the other person on their bullshit? Can you take what you dish? These are the intricacies that just barely begin to make up the bonds women have that are worth breaking your back for.

I also want to say that I don’t think all girls are bitches, I just really don’t like gossip, it’s hurtful and often untrue. If you have the need to say something about someone, say it to them (if need be discreetly) or not at all. Things aren’t always as they seem.

Sorry about my rant, I just hate when people assume things about me because I tend to like hanging out with guys. It makes it even harder to form female friendships in the first place.

This is just my honest opinion. My guy friends are just that, friends, none of them could ever be anything more.

I sometimes wish people could see that.

Gen

Though more often than not, if you’d ask most females their take on a guys’ girl — they’ll simply tell you they wouldn’t trust a GUYS’ GIRL *unsupervised* within 500 feet of their significant other.

“…Yes, you’re pretty. Yes, you’re this and that as well. It’s not enough, though. Have respect for yourself, be a lady and stop flirting with every single guy in the room just because you can. Have some self-control. Other women being in the room does not give you license to flick on the competition meter. Do you HAVE TO be the center of attention ALL the time? Seriously, that’s unnecessary. You’re 23, 29 or 34. NOT 19!!! No matter HOW little make-up, short the skirt or great the genetics. Grow UP already! You look in the mirror every day and it’s tells you the same thing. So, start working on your personality. You are NO longer allowed to play the CLUELESS card. Being SHALLOW and SELFISH are not considered virtues. Suffer for some substance. Make some REAL GIRL as well as GUY friends that don’t just want to kiss your ass (both figuratively and literally). Maybe, just maybe, one day you’ll grow character.”

BLYTHE: I think it’s rather simplistic to say that I’m warning the universe about girls who like comics and sports. I’m not a jock, but I thoroughly enjoy manga and am fascinated with anime. I’m also ALL about supporting and empowering my fellow females. Thus, I wrote this post. My thoughts are guys’ girls DO NOT support other women. Like I tried to get across, these are women who ONLY have guy friends.

When I replied to JOSIE’s comment — I pointed out that exceptions like her are rare.

Maybe I should have added there are exceptions to every rule, but as this post was written to fit the DATING DEFINITION format — I’ll keep in mind for future posts to further clarify what it is I am attempting communicate.

Though I do think that there are shady people out there that you cant trust, male and female alike, I think the comment of that “because she likes sports” she cant be trusted is out of reach.

You should always treat people the way you want to be treated and never judge someone or a particular group before you know the person.

Women in particular need to start embracing each other and learning about each other before they are “warned” to watch out for a girl if she likes sports and comic books. There usually is a “competitive view” of women, by women. We need to support each other more.

It really made me very sad RE: how you became a guys’ girl. Relationships with other women are never easy (I can certainly attest to this) especially if your female filial relations have contributed to your distaste/mistrust. This particular area in your life sounds like there’s still a lot of healing that needs to take place. Only when you’re ready, of course.

On top of that — being burned by a gal pal is probably WORSE than being cheated on by a lover. I know that sounds crazy to some, but believe me. Those who have experienced BETRAYAL from a best friend of the same gender KNOW what I’m talking about. It’s very difficult to bounce back from… but BOUNCE you must. I’m certain of this.

Life can get SO lonely without great girlfriends to keep you laughing at yourself. There’s nothing that beats female bonding. It’s Kleenex personified. Of course, you won’t miss it, if all you’ve been nursing is male companionship to assauge your wounds. I’m not saying guys don’t make great friends. They do. Though it doesn’t take as much work, or vested time and interest to cultivate a relationship with your “girls.” Trust me on this. It took me decades to have this all sink in, and I’m SO very thankful for the “girls” who took the time to walk me through the process.

***TERRY: Glad to be of service. These girls DO exist. I run into them more often than NOT. They’re a dime-a-dozen.

Now — I make sure ALL my guy friends, relatives and colleagues to keep one eye open when they’re tempted to date a guys’ girl. They have ALL thanked me for it.