Learning how to be yourself
What is it about being single? I go out to stores to shop and see couples who seem to be happily in love. I wonder if I notice it more because I am single. There is no doubt in my mind that men and women have different ways of selecting a mate. I notice every woman and some I notice more than others. Women tend to be more sly about this than men. If you notice a woman checking you out she is more likely to be very interested in you than just looking. I am not really into the bar scene anymore so were exactly do you go to meet attractive single women. Once I had a woman hit on me in line at the grocery store. She was a lot better at it than I would have been. She simply got in line behind me and gently nudged me with her cart. When I turned she apologized and immediately opened up conversation with me. It’s funny but later on after she gave me her phone number I thought about how confident and impressive she was.
I guess after years of being terrible at picking up attractive women I still don’t understand how to play the game. There are two very close friends of mine who could pick up a woman anywhere and at anytime. They seem to look at it like they were buying a watch or picking out an outfit. They are never nervous in going after a lady they find attractive. In my experiences there are two types of guys. The guy who has no trouble meeting women and keeping them interested. I am definitely not this guy. I am the guy who is actually so worried about offending a lady, or even worse being rejected that I fear trying to open up and start a conversation. I think there are plenty of guys like this out there. What exactly happened to make us so shy? Why is fear stopping us from living?
After a little bit of research I have found that I actually come off as being fake or even doubtful of myself and what I have to offer. I’m just curious as to what steps we can take to break these uncomfortable habits and put ourselves out there by showing who we really are.
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Comments
Hi. my problem is that when even coming near a girl i like is like riding a bull, its the hardest thing to do, i either get to nervous or i blank out and for some reason always end up being the kind guy who is to shy to talk. dont get me wrong ive tried just ive always come up short handed in the end, i mean do girls even like bigger guys like lets say 250 with like half that wieght in muscle so if any one can give me advice please do so.
Hey,
Us girls get nervous too! I actually just signed up with this relationship coach a few weeks ago and have been getting some great guidance and advice about overcoming these fears and to be myself. Her name is Atieno Bird, and her website is http://findyouridealmate.info/. I don’t know if you boys are interested in talking about your feelings….but I really recommend her. I already feel more confident and ready to find my guy. Anyway, good luck to you.
I believe that before a man can present himself to a woman he must first be presented to himself. What I mean by that is, How can you present someone you aren’t comfortable with to someone else? Growing up, my dad always told me that I could get any girl I wanted to. I use to look at him like a bragging old timer. I finally understand what he means now because I now feel that. The reason is because I have come to be comfortable inside my own skin. I now know who I am and have come to accept myself and because of that I’m in a position to give people a reason to accept me. I know my pros and cons and am not afraid to show it and because of that, I’m accepted as real. When I speak, I project confidence and because I believe in the words that I am saying, it shows them that I am sincere. People can feel when someone is being sincere with them because it creates an automatic attraction between them. Bottom line, when you know who you are, you can be yourself, and when you can be yourself, it’s really hard for you to lose.
Hi there. I can see that this thing, this fear of rejection, worries you so much that you give up before even trying. I am a girl and, speaking from my, as well as ALL of my girlfriends’ point of view, there are very few men out there who even bother to start a normal conversation. And you kow what? It works. They don’t think too much (maybe this is your problem) – they’ll just say anything. Usually it’s a lot of crap. But the important thing is to keep the dialogue going. For a start. Don’t analyse things too much. Just act.