DITCH those who go DUTCH

“How was the date with [fill-in-the-blank]?”

I get quizzed by my buddies every other day now about the last guy I’ve kept myself from swapping spit with. They’re harassing me for this new road-to-dating-recovery I’ve chosen to take. No PROMISE of SEX. Just the POSSIBILITY of it. And, quite frankly, it’s driving me nuts!

Then again, getting back into the dating groove has made me realize a lot of dating faux pas that I’ve been making. More so than blunders I’ve observed my date(s) make. It’s both refreshing and depressing at the same time. So I’ll give you ONE example.*

*Let me preface what I’m about to divulge with this simple fact: I’m NOT a golddigger.


So, ladies and gentlemen, I will say this once. DITCH those who insist upon (OR even suggest) going DUTCH on a date. And girls, if he allows YOU to pay on the first date — cut that date SO short, he’ll hear skid marks for the next few months straight.

Look, I’m not a Stepford-wife-in-training. Nor do I expect a guy to shell out for every single meal, drink or activity. NO. It’s vital that a woman push to pay for an outing once in a while, though initially, I am a HUGE proponent for guys picking up the tab. I believe it says a lot and sets the tone for how the date(s) progress(es). Really. I do.

Why? It goes hand-in-hand with Zack Taylor’s PURSUIT THEORY. That’s why.

Chivalry is NOT dead. It’s bit the dust in some circles, which is a damn shame. That’s why I’m determined to rectify it. Even if it takes one-post-at-a-time. Guess Ne-Yo is partly to blame by setting the tone with his YEAR OF THE GENTLEMAN. Chivalrous acts needs to come back. With a vengeance.

Back to my initial point: it’s just plain dumb on a guy and/or gal’s part to split the bill. Especially on the first date. Unless you’re NOT planning on seeing that person again, DO NOT go DUTCH!

Guys? It’s not too much to ask for you to shell out for that quick getting-to-know-you meal. If you’re afraid the girl is going to rob you blind because she’s a “golddigger,” then pick out a place that’s not too pricey, but quaint enough for her to be charmed into spending more time with you. Let her do the purse-pull, but INSIST on paying.

I’ve heard guys bitch and moan about how they like girls who are more independent and can pay their own way. That’s bullshit. You’re just lazy. You’re lame. AND you’re cheapskates. I’ve said it.

Girls? Don’t waste your time on men like these. No matter how HOT. How CHARMING. How O-mazing in bed he could possibly be. IF he doesn’t want to let you know he appreciates you showing up, prettied up and ready to meet-and-greet for the next few hours — DUMP HIS ASS. Don’t waste your time, unless you want to keep questioning the next five weeks, months, years if this guy is really into you or not.

DUMP HIS ASS. Really, it’s THAT simple.

Guys? If she INSISTS on paying for the first date? Think about it. Is this little act of independence really what it is? Or is it setting the tone for plenty of power plays to come? Gauge how graciously your lady of interest accepts your display of appreciation for her time and effort. Yes. She’s worth it. Let her know she’s making you feel special just by being there. You won’t regret it. The kind of girl you want to keep on seeing is the one that makes you feel like a million bucks for picking her. At least, for that particular date.

2 thoughts on “DITCH those who go DUTCH”

  1. I don’t mind paying for a first, second or third date but it would be nice to be treated to a dinner once in awhile. If a woman would cook me dinner once in awile, I would consider that to be special. A relationship is a two way street. Both individuals have to contribute something more than just their looks!

  2. @Mike: I agree. Women should offer to pick up the check for other activities, parking or dessert at another place. There should be some sort of balance. I just want to stress that NO WOMAN should be asked to go DUTCH on the first date. Period.

    Though I must say, as for the option of cooking: YOU should offer to cook dinner for her FIRST. She’ll be floored. BUT — only offer to do so, if you think she’s worth it.

    Bottom line is, a woman likes to be treated like a woman. As much as we gals like to bitch and moan about equality… this is key. Remember that a woman LOVES to feel special. It’ll drive you men insane, but it’ll be worth it. Trust me.

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