Waiting for the phone to ring

There are few circumstances more angst-invoking than waiting for the phone to ring. It’s the same whether you’re a guy or a girl: when you’re anticipating a call from someone you just met, there’s all kinds of nervousness going on. As each minute ticks by, you begin to wonder if maybe you read the situation wrong. Maybe there’s no interest at all. You replay the last conversation you had looking for anything to reassure yourself. He said he looked forward to seeing me sometime. She asked how my day was. Clearly this indicates interest. Or does it?

My female friends complain about this all time, they give their number to a guy and then sit around and wait for the phone to ring. Guys have all kinds of rules we tell ourselves about when to call. The most typical is the three-day rule, which states you must wait at least three days to call a girl after you get her number. Why? Because calling her sooner indicates that you’re desperate (so the rule says) and will ruin your chances. You want her on the brink of disappointment before you swoop in and remind her you’re interested. Personally, I don’t believe in this approach. I’d much rather tell her the day I’ll call and prove my worth by calling on that day.

Guys get caught in this web, too. You call the girl and she says, “I’m sorry, I can’t talk right now, can I call you back later?” Because you’re polite, you answer, “of course.” But now you’re the one playing the waiting game. When will she call? Will it be later that day? Tomorrow? Three days? This is also why I recommend keeping conversations short and, whenever possible, offering to call her back later rather than waiting for her to call you back. Of course, that’s not always possible and so we, too, are left waiting.

We play tricks on ourselves. If I were returning my phone call, when would I call? About the same time the next day, probably. Except if I were busy at that time. Then I would probably call earlier…or would it be later? You watch the clock and try not to look at your phone all that often. But you do, just to make sure you didn’t miss any calls. You have spotty reception, so you never can tell. Maybe they had plans and so can’t call back until the week. Oh no! What if they lost my number? And on, and on, and on…

It doesn’t feel like it at the time, but this is one of the most enjoyable experiences in the early part of dating. Why? Because of the feeling you get when they actually call. When your phone rings and you see that number, your heart leaps. All the waiting and angst and that little ball of nerves in your stomach all vanish and are instantly replaced with excitement. Excitement over what might be.

Side note: I can now be followed on Twitter via @zack_taylor, where I’ll be updating with small tidbits of advice and give you more insights into my personal dating life. Hope to see you there.

4 thoughts on “Waiting for the phone to ring”

  1. I HATE it when a guy says he will phone me and never does. When I say I will phone someone, I also give the exact time and day that it will happen. If I ask you to phone me back, I will give you an idea of a good time to phone me back or if I tell you that I will phone you back, I will give you the time in which I am planning to do it. If I cannot make that time, I will give you a quick phone call apologizing and then tell you when I will phone you later.

    But I WOULD NEVER tell someone that I would phone them and leave them hanging.

  2. I guess I agree about the enjoyment of the phone finally ringing but I sure do feel like a loser looking at it for the 4000th time checking for messages.

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