Get responses online

Meeting people online has its issues, but they are not impossible to deal with. You need tactics, as if you were an online pickup artist.

I met my boyfriend, Jason, on I swore to myself it would be the last dating site I would ever join. Since I was still working on my book, and writing about personality types based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), I decided to test myself. I wanted to see if I could find my perfect personality match through a person’s online profile.

Of course, I had to know about personality matching. I had read Dr. Alex Avila’s LoveTypes book. I learned my type, ENTP, aka “The Innovator,” is romantically compatible with ENTJ, aka “The General.”

It’s difficult to order a book, read it, and put it into practice in a matter of a few days. So, I’ll try to give a bared down tip…

  • Think about 3 things about your mind/life that are distinct to you compared to other people you know. For example, for me: 1. I dislike set schedules; 2. I love to be silly; 3. I’m very analytical and have to think to know my feelings.
  • Next, go to the dating site, and as you peruse people’s profiles, look for things that jump out at you that you think or know would work with you. For example, I know for myself it has always helped me to have someone in my life who was better at living by a schedule than me; so, in that sense I look for my opposite. Plus, since I’m analytical, smart people interest me. Funny, ’cause the initial impression of Jason’s photo was, “This guy is arrogant!” Sure enough, he’s arrogant because he’s smart–and I like him that way.
  • When you find something distinct about the person you can relate to, write a message that caters to that distinction without getting too personal. For me, I realized that Jason likes to debate. So, in my first message, I challenged him on his profile’s headline.

    Note: The more attention you pay to details, the more a person senses genuineness. For example, if a girl writes something like, “I love to go out for good food…” Don’t just write, “What kind of food?” Dig deeper. Assume “good food” is the difference between dining on the Baja peninsula and Taco Bell. Instead you could say something like, “Have you been to the Bistro on Main Street?” or whatever; you get the point, I hope.

In the meantime, check out Avila’s LoveTypes book. For a generalization on what that’s about, you can also read Parts IV and V in my AlphaDog book, also available on Kindle.

Good luck!

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This post was inspired by @YouWishYouWere on Twitter.

6 thoughts on “Get responses online”

  1. My GF broke up with her bf of 7 years. She went on plenty of fish but has had little to no success. All she did was add pix! i told her she needs to stand out and make herself “marketable” those tips you offer is what she needs. I’m gonna get her to buy that book

  2. I think you are right. I have not been looking but the difficulty is that you need to becareful what you are looking for. Yes there is someone for everyone but time and distance maybe the problem it took me till is was 32. So a long wait for the rightone.

  3. MY ex GF contacted me on POF and we just clicked from there on out. I had been burned out before meeting her online. Tired of the run a round with meeting women and not going anywhere. Shes no longer my girlfriend as this August 2011, we will have been married 1 year. We met in 2009 on POF. Ladies you may have to hit the contact button sometimes!

  4. I like what was said here, lately I had been doing that whenever I go on OKCupid. Find something I like and go after her that way, I figure its been getting me more responses though. I would like to see you talk about transitioning after the first message from Guy to Girl perspective.

  5. Hey p.u.a.
    Sure. I can write about that. While that stuff is covered by experts like Evan Marc Katz, I could certainly talk about online conversations and how to progress. Thanks for the suggestion!

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