I’ve been in this same situation before, it does not feel good. Some times you are not pending on the phone and all the sudden you receive one, two or three messages in a row, but other times a day and some days passes and nothing, is like all the enthusiasm, excitement, suddenly vanishes. I would like to know why that happens. It’s like a song called “Rebajas de Enero” from spanish singer Joaquin Sabina, it says in response to a woman’s proposal:

“Te puedo dar todo añadia, excepto entusiasmo”

The meaning in english is something like: I can give you everything, except enthusiasm.

I think that is true, sometimes we would like that the other person feels the same enthusiasm as we feel.

Hey Zack, I know exactly where you are coming from the waiting game or what I like to call the “crying inside game”. Why “crying inside” because apart from yelling at your phone (thinking it will talk back to by a simple ring tone), you’re crying out on the inside in frustration. It was confusing to me at first; I meet a girl (where ever)have a great conversation, we swap numbers, I call, no pick up, I call back still no pick up, so I leave msg, I never hear from her or see again, and my brain is rattling thinking should I call back, and why isn’t she calling me back. Then I realised two things

1. She just was not interested and very polite about it. Women sometimes are very sociable and will not give you the cold shoulder in public. Also, If you are good at holding a conversation she finds interesting she may not want to music to stop just yet. Once its time for you both to go your own seperate way an exchange of contact details seems the only natural & polite thing to do. But sadly it sets us up for false hope.

2. She enjoyed the chase. Women like to be liked, even if they have not interest in taking things any further. It good for the ego, to put it simplier.

My advice, do not attach too much value to these scenarios. Take it on the chin and continue finding yourself a date. It is a numbers game after all. Keep me posted dude its been a while did she call back? I’d be shocked if she did. Well unless she played the wait 3-4 days before she return the phone call trick…..

Ben. Smarter Dater Team member

Chasing sets you up for rejection.

The women that doesn’t:

swoon at your opening line
return your text
return your call
keep the date you set

affects your inner state.

All these things chip away, little by little, at your self esteem. Instead of trying to build an immunity, limit the situations that create, opportunity for and depth of, emotional rejection.

Of course, it’s silly to say, “we’ll then, I won’t ever approach a woman.” I am not talking about opening. We, as the man, have to lead; but leading is creating the right framework for the interaction and setting the precedent for the relationship.

Chasing is following.

Best way to lead the interaction is to give her room to chase. Go easy on the phone calls and texts. Give her time and emotional space. Don’t profess too much of your interest in her.

I know that I really falter on this when I meet a woman who I really dig. It’s easy to act this way with your average female, but the hot women test my resolve.

I don’t want anything

Aw, I wish there was some great advice I could give for that, but all I have to say is to be patient. Usually when I begin to Start Love whether it was through friends I met the guy or online, I will also get the times when I am anxious and I have to wait to hear back. But the way I go about it, is if I make the call I will always wait at least 3 or 4 days before I try again. Sometimes even a week. If they still don’t answer, don’t worry about it. Easier said then done, I know, but literally the ball is in their court and they need to be the one to make the next move since you made yours.

It’s such a game. Or maybe she’s busy but still thinking of you. I’d give it some time a day or 2 but if she’s into you, she’ll call. Good luck!

Never chase women it is an sign of desperation and weakness if she is not interested in you. Women do like a good
pursuit for their attention but only do so if she is interested.
Women never want to do all the work but she will give you enough direction to
Lead the way. When this occurs you are not chasing the woman but leading each other into
something that is mutual.

A chase is good fun when the woman you are chasing is truely interested in
you and not just wasting your time.

Bottom line if she not returning call or texts chances are she not interested
So don’t waste your time. Remember in life you face rejection all the time
not just with women. The task is to dust yourself of and move on.

Smarter Dater Team

From a womans point of view stay clear of women who play mind games, ie make you send the first text, make you always ask her out etc etc

Zack,

I’m sorry to read about your unfortunate dating experience. I completely empathize with your situation as I am well aware of how frustrating dating can be. However, you have to remember that women don’t want to be seen as needy or desperate either, and fear that by replying right away, that is exactly how they will be perceived. By best advice to you is to stop stressing. Dating is supposed to be a fun and enjoyable experience. Let whatever is supposed to happen happen.

Good Luck!

- michelle ashley

Dating is in essence a fun and enjoyable experience for two individuals. Even if a relationship does not prevail, the simple social aspect of it is gratifying.

We must not forget, however, that dating involves a multitude of factors. One of which is human emotions. It is sad because this is where dating can be not so enjoyable. I have spoken to women (and indeed men) whom have dated or allowed themselves to lead on another guy to simply massage their ego and self worth. Once this purpose is satisfied they cease to contact the guy. In other cases where they have a partner this is done to make their partner jealous. Sad but true.

I personally don’t think a woman would be viewed as needy or desperate if she contacted you back straight after she missed your call, or even a day after she missed your call. Far from it and I think this whole idea of waiting two days, three days and in some cases I have heard of 1 week before a woman should call back is a silly mindset that a lot of people need to get out of because it does more harm than good to the woman (or guy) playing that strategy.

Think about it from this stand point, if you had a job interview and a company “A”, and they said we will call you back with our decision, would you wait days or even weeks on end for that call back to happen – which may never happen? You wouldn’t. In the mean time plenty of other job opportunities are passing you by and being quickly snapped up by other applicants. If you are interested then show you are interested there is no commitment to dating. It is too personalities socialising and getting to know each other you don’t have to get married after the first date.

I have found it very courteous and mature for a woman to return my call. Hence, I know I am dealing with a woman who knows what she wants and is not one for playing games. If you respect yourself and know you are not needy then a simple call back will not diminish your self worth.

My advice is that there is so much choice out there for you. You are definitely spoiled for choice so take advantage. Please do not wait by the phone waiting for it to ring, it is like waiting for cold water to boil.

Regards

Ben

Smarter Dater Team

Zack, have you thought about the reason why you’re in this situation?
There is a possibility that if you’re acting like this waiting for her call, you acted in a similar way when you met her.
if the girl feels you are anxious about whether or not you get to see her again she is likely to act like this.
It’s no big deal. There are millions of girls out there. She is just one.
Instead of waiting meet some others, they will probably be much better for you any way.

Lol…I agree, it’s all mind games. Women don’t want to seem like they’re chasing the guys. Good way of letting us women see inside a guys head though!

This reminds me of a site I found and I just wanted to recommend, http://www.itwaslovewhen.com, there are stories posted daily by real people about times they realized they were in love! It is very uplifting and cute, maybe people can find some tips on there! Keep up the good work.
xoxo

Zack, this sounds hard, and it’s nice to hear the male perspective. As the woman who often gives my phone number, there are just as many times when a guy who has gotten my number has never called me–equally disappointing, but more difficult as I didn’t have his number so I wasn’t in control.

The way I look at it is that you never know what situation the other person is in. They may be married, or in a relationship, or going through a breakup, or not ready to date; they gave you their information in a moment of weakness, and now they don’t want to be in touch. Their loss, really. I know I have a lot to offer a date, as do all of us who are ready. The right person will know…

At least she didn’t give you a false number, right?

Some women are just very polite and friendly and they will give you their number in order not to be rude but really are not interested in that way.

Some play hard to get and want to see how serious you are and how committed you are, they want to see if you’ll make the effort and try a little harder or just give up.

So if she doesnt call back it could be because of either reason, but if you find that in your effort to show her that you really are serious and she still doesnt respond then it probably means that she really isnt interested.

I actually know some women whohave two phone numbers, one of the numbers will be for a phone that will consistantly be on voicemail and thats the one they give to guys they are not really interested in.

So if all your calls are going to voicemail, then you know why

It’s kind of hard to second guess when only a short time has passed. She could be out, busy, working, etc. You sound like you are making yourself anxious when you don’t need to be. If you leave a message and she doesn’t return your call there’s not a lot you can do. Remind yourself of your good qualities and what you have to offer and hopefully the next girl will appreciate them.