‘Tis the Season . . .
Two weeks ago, on a Wednesday night, I could not get a drink because all the local bars had an hour wait to get in. This scene was more reticent of New York’s Meat Packing District than downtown suburbia. Then I remembered that it was Thanksgiving weekend and many people were coming home for the holidays. People were out and reconnecting with childhood friends. Inevitably, updates were being passed along as to who got married, divorced, or pregnant. I’m very secure with my relationship status but I started to feel a demand to examine it, however, no one was challenging it. So why was I feeling burdened?
Then it dawned on me. What I was feeling was an added subconscious pressure from “holidating“. Holidating starts from Thanksgiving and lasts through Valentine’s Day. This is a 2½-month period, which consists of four holidays that heightens the pressure to clarify the status of one’s relationship status.
Thanksgiving
At the beginning of holidating is Thanksgiving. Newly formed relationships are confronted with the dilemma of how to spend the holiday. On one hand, it may be too soon to introduce one’s significant other to the family. On the other hand, they may feel hurt if they are not invited. Therefore, there may be premature pressure to evaluate one’s partner. As for individuals who are single, they may be interrogated with relationship questions from nosy relatives.
Christmas
Christmas brings up similar challenges as Thanksgiving along with the extra pressure of gift giving. Depending on the relationship, it may be too soon to exchange gifts. If not, then there is the question of how much to spend on a present. Furthermore, being around family, an individual subconsciously compares their relationship with that of their parents and relatives. Single individuals may evaluate their dates more in depth by weighing how the person would potential fit within the family. Thanksgiving and Christmas bring the issue of family to the forefront of a person’s mind.
New Years Eve
Right around the corner from Christmas is New Years Eve. Dating can be tricky during this time of year because of the idea about ringing in the New Year with someone special. It may be premature to determine if this person should accompany you during this iconic countdown. On the other hand, there is the fear of feeling lonely and surrounded by kissing couples as the New Year begins. Once the new year has started and resolutions are made, we reflect on what is important and how we envision the upcoming year. Therefore, we may want to shed a sub par relationship or want to take our current relationship to the next step.
Valentine’s Day
The pressure of being with someone romantically significant on February 14th causes a lot of anxiety. Single individuals are assessing on who to date or whether to start dating before Cupid’s Day. Some singles prefer to avoid the day all together or to band with other friends who are single and honor singlehood. For couples, it is a also chance to assess their feelings for each other that may put some extra pressure on the relationship.
Has anyone else notice the effects of the holidays on their dating behavior or is it just me?
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Comments
@Cecile – If you are not in a relationship, dating can particularly interesting for different reasons. Here are just a few:
1) People are home for the holidays, therefore, you may run into people from your past.
2) You may meet this wonderful person who is here only for the holidays. Then you have the challenge of long distance “getting to know you”.
3) The holidays also brings out couples doing couple things together, which may bring extra pressure that you are single.
4) Single people may be on standby during this period of time and may wait to date until after Valentine’s Day to avoid some of the awkwardness of the holidays.
I beleave that the holidays just makes us think more about the situation of our status as a singel or a couple… Cuz most hollydays are about familie, love, being thankfull, this makes us think more about life in general, and i am sure thats why it’s even harder then a normal weekday… and oh yeah one think more.. we are not busy doing stuff, so that gives us time to reflect on things.
What makes the holidays interesting is that it gives people the opportunity to meet others and certain holidays are good assessments. I remember an ex of mine who didn’t celebrate Christmas with her family, she spent it with mine, and I remember it was her first time meeting my folks and my mom’s side of the family. It made me see her in a whole new light. So during that 2.5 months is a very intense time for singles I believe, it’s like sweeps for networks on tv.