Comments on: The talk http://www.datingthoughts.com/2010/02/27/the-talk/ Dating advice, tips and experiences | Dating blogs & forums Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:36:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Dennis Miedema http://www.datingthoughts.com/2010/02/27/the-talk/comment-page-1/#comment-5755 Dennis Miedema Wed, 05 May 2010 13:52:41 +0000 http://www.datingthoughts.com/?p=1220#comment-5755 Hey Zack, although I know exactly what you mean when you mention `the talk` I have to disagree with you on it being a separate reason. Each partner going their separate ways is usually because of a lack of interest in the other´s life, love, and attention. The cause is the same as the one behind ´there´s someone else´: there wasn´t (enough) attraction anymore. Why? Think about it: whenever a guy and a girl who are madly in love face an obstacle that could separate them, one usually sacrifices his/her own interests for the other. Example: they move to another town together because he can get a much better job there. Whenever he/she doesn´t want to give up their own interests for the interests of someone else, you have to ask how big the interest was in the other person in the first place. It´s typical behavior for people in love to attach more value to the wellbeing of the one they love than to their own wellbeing. Anyways, that lack of interest, the lack of attraction? Is because everything has become predictable, he (and she as well) doesn´t invest (enough) time and energy into creating attraction anymore... And the result is two people who go see a movie together or who live together who have sex... but are NOT romantically interested in each other anymore. Solution: never let things get predictable and keep investing them and energy in yourself and the one you love. It isn´t that hard either: used to kissing the wife goodbye every morning? Don´t do it for a change. Or give her a hug instead of a kiss for a week. It makes things unpredictable and exciting again. The little things matter more than you´d think! To More Dating Success, Dennis Miedema Win With Women Hey Zack, although I know exactly what you mean when you mention `the talk` I have to disagree with you on it being a separate reason.

Each partner going their separate ways is usually because of a lack of interest in the other´s life, love, and attention.

The cause is the same as the one behind ´there´s someone else´: there wasn´t (enough) attraction anymore.

Why?

Think about it: whenever a guy and a girl who are madly in love face an obstacle that could separate them, one usually sacrifices his/her own interests for the other.

Example: they move to another town together because he can get a much better job there.

Whenever he/she doesn´t want to give up their own interests for the interests of someone else, you have to ask how big the interest was in the other person in the first place.

It´s typical behavior for people in love to attach more value to the wellbeing of the one they love than to their own wellbeing.

Anyways, that lack of interest, the lack of attraction?

Is because everything has become predictable, he (and she as well) doesn´t invest (enough) time and energy into creating attraction anymore…

And the result is two people who go see a movie together or who live together who have sex… but are NOT romantically interested in each other anymore.

Solution: never let things get predictable and keep investing them and energy in yourself and the one you love.

It isn´t that hard either: used to kissing the wife goodbye every morning?

Don´t do it for a change. Or give her a hug instead of a kiss for a week. It makes things unpredictable and exciting again.

The little things matter more than you´d think!

To More Dating Success,

Dennis Miedema
Win With Women

]]> By: Giovanni Azael http://www.datingthoughts.com/2010/02/27/the-talk/comment-page-1/#comment-5732 Giovanni Azael Tue, 04 May 2010 07:02:26 +0000 http://www.datingthoughts.com/?p=1220#comment-5732 Well put. The crazy thing about the talk is that the one initiating the talk doesn't have a hard time doing so because of the fact things are not so bad. It always seems like it's easier for someone to end a relationship that need not end then a one in great need of termination. You see if all the time. A girl that is clearly being mistreated and fears being without the one mistreating her. On the other hand, you find a woman/man with a wonderful man/woman and for some reason, find so many things wrong about the relationship to the point where they feel they can't move on together. It just shows how the mind of the opposite sex works. Those that leave under those circumstances ALWAYS end up looking back at a regretful decision and by then it ALWAYS seems to be too late. Well put. The crazy thing about the talk is that the one initiating the talk doesn’t have a hard time doing so because of the fact things are not so bad. It always seems like it’s easier for someone to end a relationship that need not end then a one in great need of termination. You see if all the time. A girl that is clearly being mistreated and fears being without the one mistreating her. On the other hand, you find a woman/man with a wonderful man/woman and for some reason, find so many things wrong about the relationship to the point where they feel they can’t move on together. It just shows how the mind of the opposite sex works. Those that leave under those circumstances ALWAYS end up looking back at a regretful decision and by then it ALWAYS seems to be too late.

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