Dazed and Confused

I knew I looked good Saturday night.

The hair. The makeup. The outfit. Everything was working for me that night. I stepped into the club completely confident that I would at least find someone of interest to dance with.

One cutie immediately started doing the look-and-look-away routine as I stood by the dance floor. I made eye contact a couple times and strategically moved to a spot where he could see me better. My plan failed as the cutie in question did not make one move to advance our sultry connection. It was still early so I knew there was time to find somebody else.

My crew and I migrated to an area of the club where we could sit down and give our cramping feet a break. I spotted another cutie by the bar and continuously made mutual eye contact. Nothing happened again. This horrible lack of interest continued for the remainder of the evening.

HOWEVER the creepy club guys who I expressed zero interest in were the ones I had to fight off. What is going on with that??? I understand these guys are unavoidable and plentiful in population at any club in the world but I don’t understand why these were the ONLY guys who approached me that night.

Even members of the Latin community weren’t biting and usually those are my greatest admirers!! I left the club feeling rejected and confused. I wasn’t dressed overly slutty. I wore an outfit that complemented my best assets. I felt like I was approachable and received an inkling of interest from at least two objects of interest but no follow through. I didn’t get it.

This is where I need insight from the male perspective. I want to know what happens when a guy comes across a girl of interest. Does he just sit back and do nothing?? Make repeated eye contact only to walk away from where she is??? Make a move by initiating conversation??

I also want to know why a man who expresses some interest via eye contact and receives eye contact in return doesn’t go one step further (i.e. smiling, mouthing hello, introducing oneself, etc). What’s the problem? Are they afraid of being rejected? 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4 thoughts on “Dazed and Confused”

  1. If a woman catches my eye, I might just wink and smile at her and gauge a reaction. Cliche? Yes, but I could build jokes around that fact. I might try to find some things about her outfit or manner that seem small: I once started a conversation after noticing a woman was wearing a Naruto jacket, she was surprised that I recognized it. Whatever it takes without trying too hard or monologuing, one has to do something. Just have fun with it.

  2. hi,this may not go down well,but frankly guys you meet in clubs are only after sex,or a one night stand,thats what those places were invented for……(or so my male friends tell me).Of course there are great times in clubs with girlfriends for dancing etc,conversations,but do yourself a favour,stop going to pick up joints,try dating in the daylight……….also if you have an aura of “i want to find a mate,im looking”,no one will look,,,,,,,,try just not going out to pick someone up,have funTRY NOT TO MEET ANYONE,FOCUS ON YOURSELF,THIS WORKS WONDERS,(if you have to club——-)

  3. From a guys point of view, there could be a couple of things going on:

    1. he may not be into you. When we check a girl out from head to toe it means just that…we are looking. Doesn’t mean we are interested.

    2. worse, he could have just been shy. Liquid courage may not have entered his blood stream yet.

    3. He is already taken. Maybe he just like to look, but cannot touch

    If I’m interested I just go dance and see where it goes. Conversations on the dance floor suck usually cause its so loud. Besides the name, I just dance and smile til I can buy the person a drink and talk a bit.

    I dont agree with emilia at all but maybe thats her experience to typcast someone like that. Then again she could be on to something because I never have heard of anyone marrying someone they met in a club.

  4. Maybe a guy can explain this, it mystifies me. But what I see here is that a lot of guys find a woman who gives them no response highly attractive, and I swear, they often seem to read a complete lack of response as encouragement. Also- a sign of your high status. So, the guys you encourage- they look to see who else is there. And the ones you don’t, they’re extra interested.

    I’m not kidding about this. Sometimes I feel like a stealth hottie- I used to weigh more and was so shy. When I had first lost the weight, starting dressing well etc., etc., men would give me the eye and I’d literally think, “What are you doing? Can’t you see I don’t know what to do?” Believe me, I wasn’t up to engaging them back with a smile or anything. But it didn’t matter, not one bit.

    So my advice is- don’t smile back so fast. Let your eye flicker over them. And then turn to do something else. Let the guy do what guys do- if he’s interested, he’ll make sure he crosses your line of sight, and lingers where you could just glance up and see him, or where you’re likely to cross by. Let him work a little for you. Gives you a little more time to see if you are in fact interested- and it’s good for him to work a bit.

    Gives him a chance, too, to decide- in your favor. Have fun & good luck!

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