Penny, my 15-pound miniature pinscher, senses something is missing. She paces back and forth, not playing with her toys, looks at her water bowl and bits of kibble, looks at the spot where there used to be another dog bowl. When the other dog was here, Penny was in constant motion. She would only momentarily settle down before checking out to see what the other dog was doing, that is, when the humans were home. The other dog usually would follow me around the apartment hoping for that seldom treat, or a belly rub. Penny would be nearby.
Sadly, the pack has divided into two. The alpha man has left the den to sort through his manhood, taking his pug-chihuahua with him. I, the alpha female, tries to accomplish several tasks around the house before leaving to meet up with a new date. It’s nothing serious, this date. Just someone whose company I appreciate. If it turns into something else, it will happen much later since I’m in no mood to expose the wounded heart inside. Neither do I care for a frivolous rendezvous.
Always the wing girl in the past, it’s time for the girl to nurture her self.
A date is not intended to be serious. It’s merely an opportunity to enjoy time with another person and a chance to get to know him or her better. While this is the intention of the meeting this evening, another side of me longs for Penny’s human daddy.
Penny sees me eating food but doesn’t bother to get up from her chair. Daddy isn’t here.
Every American adult needs alone time to find independence and nurture oneself. This is a messed up culture we are a part of. The way Americans date is laughable around the rest of the world. In comparing how other cultures handle romantic relationships, it’s easy to understand why many countries don’t want the USA infringing on their ways of life. This is the land of dysfunctional relationships. And the only way to grow out of dysfunction is to take good care of our selves, grow up, heal, and self-actualize. This is why Daddy left.
Our breakup was bittersweet. He didn’t want to break up. Part of me didn’t want to either. Our relationship was the envy of the neighborhood. Perfect in personality compatibility, we would finish each others’ sentences and enjoy the same kinds of activities. But he wanted to live by himself for a year. For me, that was too long. At age 39 I don’t want to wait anymore. I’d still like give birth to a child of my own for the experience that cannot happen otherwise. And I don’t want to have a child by myself. So, I’m dating again. Maybe I’ll change my handle (pen name). Gotta go.
What do you think? Leave a comment!
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