A New Start for a New Year
Penny, my 15-pound miniature pinscher, senses something is missing. She paces back and forth, not playing with her toys, looks at her water bowl and bits of kibble, looks at the spot where there used to be another dog bowl. When the other dog was here, Penny was in constant motion. She would only momentarily settle down before checking out to see what the other dog was doing, that is, when the humans were home. The other dog usually would follow me around the apartment hoping for that seldom treat, or a belly rub. Penny would be nearby.
Sadly, the pack has divided into two. The alpha man has left the den to sort through his manhood, taking his pug-chihuahua with him. I, the alpha female, tries to accomplish several tasks around the house before leaving to meet up with a new date. It’s nothing serious, this date. Just someone whose company I appreciate. If it turns into something else, it will happen much later since I’m in no mood to expose the wounded heart inside. Neither do I care for a frivolous rendezvous.
Always the wing girl in the past, it’s time for the girl to nurture her self.
A date is not intended to be serious. It’s merely an opportunity to enjoy time with another person and a chance to get to know him or her better. While this is the intention of the meeting this evening, another side of me longs for Penny’s human daddy.
Penny sees me eating food but doesn’t bother to get up from her chair. Daddy isn’t here.
Every American adult needs alone time to find independence and nurture oneself. This is a messed up culture we are a part of. The way Americans date is laughable around the rest of the world. In comparing how other cultures handle romantic relationships, it’s easy to understand why many countries don’t want the USA infringing on their ways of life. This is the land of dysfunctional relationships. And the only way to grow out of dysfunction is to take good care of our selves, grow up, heal, and self-actualize. This is why Daddy left.
Our breakup was bittersweet. He didn’t want to break up. Part of me didn’t want to either. Our relationship was the envy of the neighborhood. Perfect in personality compatibility, we would finish each others’ sentences and enjoy the same kinds of activities. But he wanted to live by himself for a year. For me, that was too long. At age 39 I don’t want to wait anymore. I’d still like give birth to a child of my own for the experience that cannot happen otherwise. And I don’t want to have a child by myself. So, I’m dating again. Maybe I’ll change my handle (pen name). Gotta go.
What do you think? Leave a comment!
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Comments
Sorry to hear about your breakup. I do not claim that I can tell the future, and no one else can either. So who knows what will happen. Maybe his “year alone” will turn out to be two months and then you will have another set of decisions and challenges to overcome. Maybe your non-serious dating will allow you to see things about yourself and things in others that you did not even know were missing.
Whatever the future holds, stay honest with yourself, true in your beliefs, and enjoy your life. Those are the things that will bring happiness, in romance and otherwise.
Good luck!
p.s. – Glad to know that you two didn’t stay together just for the dogs. They would have sensed the struggle.
You’ve made the right decision by letting go and getting out there again into the dating world. We are all on a journey with an end destination in mind. If we start deviating, then we have to change our course (even though it can be painful) to get back on track. Good luck!
Kim,
Yes, the den my be feel a lil empty for now but there is no doubt that you will find the guy that is perfect for you. There is no reason that a man can’t find/improve himself while he is still in a relationship with a woman. And isn’t it better to have a partner to love & support each you through that journey? My wife & I have both grown as individuals (and as a couple) in the 9 years we have been married and one of the reasons for that is we both loved and supported each otehr through our journey.
Stay true to yourself and get clear on what you need from a man in order to create a happy & fulfilling relationship with him and I am confident that you will find the perfect man for you.
Good Luck!
All the best – it’s always sad when people are so right for each other, but just not at the right time.
Just keep going, it’ll happen
Great tips… Don’t ever give up, you will have that special someone in time. It will eventually happen.
Nobody wants to fail forward anymore. Part of what makes people grow closer (or in automotive speak, to establish a pattern of wear) is overcoming obstacles together, not apart. This also shows the other big problem in relationships: people act like they are not in one (ie. I can handle my own biz). I hope you find what you deserve, Kim.