You drink. Your inhibitions fade away. You find the courage to talk to a pretty girl.
You can’t talk to a girl unless you’re drunk?! You are just about the lamest guy on the planet…Just kidding. Though it is kind of lame.
I have nothing against bars. In fact, I’m sitting in one right now, typing. It’s a great venue for ideas and, as an Extrovert, I get energized from the scene. But I don’t come here seeking romance. If I do find it, I consider it dandy and expect nothing more than a short-lived rendezvous.
Now, if you’re a pickup artist, the bar scene is easy play. However, the majority of you guys aren’t. So, let’s figure out why bars can be good, or why they’re bad.
Every now and then two people will meet at a bar and end up together for the long haul. But that rarely, if ever, is a healthy relationship. (If there are any couples out there who are soulmates in love who met at a bar, not online, send me an email!)
Why bars can be good
Of course, the notoriously common purpose of meeting women at the bar has to do with getting a cheap lay. Unfortunately, these days, thanks to Neil Strauss’ The Game, women are more savvy than before his exposé, so getting validation might be more difficult. Besides, validation by getting laid is just a pathetic cover up for not growing up.
There are other, better reasons to hang out at the bar:
- Enjoy the scene.
- Loosen your inhibitions.
- Get better at talking to strangers.
Even if you don’t drink, you will find that talking to women at bars is still easier because of their loosened inhibitions. Order yourself a sparkling water and speak up.
The other thing to think about are the different kinds of bars. Want a challenge? Hang out at a lesbian bar. That’s especially good practice for learning to respect women. Better yet, find a lesbian buddy. She likes women too, and she can help you with your approach.
Why bars can be bad
If you’re not interested in one-night stands, don’t look for a relationship at a bar. Is an explanation necessary? Alcohol lowers IQ. There.
Some people are narrow-minded enough to think that a bar is the only place to meet the opposite gender. This is sad. Really sad. Go to the park, a gym, a taco joint. Just go somewhere. Anywhere. Women are everywhere! Go shop for a gift for your mom and meet someone at the store. Ask her for her opinion. That’s Pickup 101: Women love to be asked for their opinion (for the most part). And if she asks you why you’re buying your mom a gift, you don’t need a reason other than she’s your mom. I mean, she did carry you in her womb for months, felt the pains of labor, and if she didn’t get her abdomen sliced open, forced your fat head through a narrow channel between her legs. Buy your mom a gift, dammit.
Most importantly, when you look at these strangely enticing and mysterious creatures with balloons on their chests, don’t think about yourself. Don’t think about how she makes you feel or that you don’t know what to say. Think about the possibility that she just might like to get some attention. Ask yourself what you want to know about her, but don’t dwell on the wonder. Speak up. That goes for the non-bar and the bar.