5 Signs He’s a Bad Boy!

By Eric J. Leech, author of Love, Lust, and Relationships


A bad boy (a.k.a. player) is a guy who plays women to get what he wants, which is usually sex. You can find these characters at bars, on dating websites, or carousing the deli department at your local grocery store. This term developed in reference to the “dating game”, in which guys have learned the key to winning, is creating an image that fits a woman’s ideal man. Women base their physical relationships from the strength of their union with a guy. The more connected she feels, the more nooky he receives, and thus the hardcore player was born. It is a fine line a bad boy walks. He has five rules to live by in order to hold a woman’s interest. However, within these 5 principles, you’ll soon discover the antidote to his charm.

He’s An Interrogation Master –

A player doesn’t waste time chatting about the weather. He has an agenda to keep, which includes finding your weaknesses and preying upon them. The average guy will take the long road to get to know you, but the player will jump right into your intimate territory. This may seem bold, but it can actually be quite a welcome change from the typical John Wayne conversation you may be used to (yup, nope, head nod, etc.,). The player does not really care about your past relationships, passion, or fashion. He interrogates you to get what he needs to create an image that will send him to the top of your most-wanted list. Once there, he can be sure you won’t be too quick to dethrone him, provided, he maintains your confidence.

He Can Do No Wrong –

Despite what has been written in trashy romance novels, the ideal man is not suave, in control, and can resist the appeal of real butter (Fabio). He is nervous and chatty. When a man arches his shoulders, crosses his legs, or chatters uncontrollably, he is trying to appear approachable and non-threatening. The player does not want to place himself among your level. He wants to be above it, in control, which is why he may seem impressively sure of himself. He wants you to think you can relinquish yourself into his care, believing he knows what you need. However, he doesn’t. Getting to know someone takes a lot of time and attention, neither of which a player has.

He’s a Mystery Man –

Players are fortunate women are attracted to mysterious men, because if they knew what he was really like, they’d not be too impressed. One of the reason’s mystery works, is it allows the opportunity to bestow any characteristic you’re looking for in a man. He may not talk much about past relationships, so you assume he is kind, compassionate, and faithful. Studies suggest women are drawn to men who give mixed signals. This is the player’s style, drawing women in with compliments and promises, then keeping her at bay with his non-action. Players live in secrecy, taking discrete phone calls, going on mystical business trips, and complaining about other women they refer to as stalkers.

He’s Hot… No Wait, He’s Cold –

This takes us to the players dating style, which is very hot and cold. The player will start things by wining and dining, complimenting, and gushing over you. However, once he has won you over, he will leave you waiting by the phone. This is because a player fears commitment and intimacy, more than he does loneliness and instability. He loves the chase, but becomes quickly bored by the conquered. You can’t change a player. Once you step onto his roller coaster, you will be in store for a series of exhilaration and let downs. Don’t be fooled by the thrill of the high, because a dating relationship must have trust and security to be truly worthy of any long-term commitment.

He Won’t Commit to Anything –

A player is hard to hold down to plans. He will lie about not being able to attend engagements with friends and family. He believes he can pull the wool over your eyes, but unlikely an entire group. His favorite excuses are, “My battery died,” “I didn’t know you called,” “I was stuck in heavy traffic,” and “I got stuck in my trunk after my battery died.” This last excuse is reserved for when the stuff really hits the fan. The player is always weighing his options before making a commitment. This means the majority of your time will be spent on last minute dates, better known as hooking up. Emergencies do come up. However, when relatives die, then miraculously come back to life during a discussion that same week, he’s not even trying anymore.

10 thoughts on “5 Signs He’s a Bad Boy!”

  1. I just met one of these, Wow is all I am saying. You described him perfect. They need a bill board with his picture on it lol

  2. Im dealing with one of these types right now…
    They certainly do put you through a ton of emotions and don’t
    worry about the relationship (or whatever you call it) growing. When you begin to get too close they’ll disappear everytime.

  3. Thats why they call him “bad boy.” He’s out to HURT you! He’s bad! Don’t some women get it? This isn’t a guy being teased by his friends who know he’s actually OK. He’s a bad boy for real, and guys with a conscience aren’t proud of that stuff.

  4. I was in love with a player (how embarassing!) It’s because I like to go out & do things, have fun, go dancing, etc. And they are the only single guys I can ever meet out because all of the good ones are taken, obviously! What I want to know is if there is a single guy who is not a player but likes to have fun, especially with the girl he loves & wants a committed & faithful relationship, where does he go? Is there a bar for these guys? Where do I go to find 1 for me to get me away from these players?

  5. Let me tell u something girls,most of are going to get one player after another, cause that what you are atracted to.let me try and explain something, when u meet guys some might treat you casually while others will treat you like your important and might seems nervous.The guy who treat you casual is the player cause he does not think that special, he has lots of girls to choose from,but you will choose him over a nervous guy,cause its more of an ackward situation when u just meet.THe player all ways say the rite thing as if he knws you.The guy who does not seems so sure of himself at the time, you mite not even give him a chance.Look at it this way if you were to be offered your dream job would you treat the interview casually,or you mite be a little nervous, with sweaty hands. but deep down you know if given the chance you would prove yours self . But the interviewer mite just choose someone who does not see the job as important cause that person appear more confident at the interview.all im trying to say is give the little guy a chance to prove what he is about.u might be surprise.I say all of this because of experience.Im presently trying to convert to a player and some parts of it is sweet, namely because i get sex from defferent girls regularly with out committing to any thing. and even after i leave some of these girls they still want to come back.But deep down i think i would prefer just one girl. but but what i notice when i give one girl my attention it does not work out. if i behave like a player they think its love at first sight.So i prefer to be getting lots of sex than be alone thinking of a girl who scared to try the little guy

  6. Hello o have a questions to ask… If a bad boy plays girls feelings just for sex…. Does that mean that he doesn’t respect his mom who gave birth to him?

  7. Hello i have a questions to ask… If a bad boy plays with girls feelings just for sex…. Does that mean that he doesn’t respect his mom who gave birth to him?

  8. Hi; I know some one who’s a BAD BOY ! And I had fallen in love with him. And he didn’t do anything but made me promises that he didn’t keep. After 12 years he’s telling me that he still love me. (REALLY ) As long as I,have JESUS he’s all the Man that I need. GOD is good.

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