All posts by SpeedDater

I'm a 37-year old publicist living in Los Angeles, but I was raised in Texas where manners were taught to us from birth. I can't say the same for most of my dates, which have included (unwillingly and unknowingly) the standard stereotypes to avoid: emotionally unavailable men, married men, sexually uncertain men, men who are broke, and guys who just don’t show up for a date. So, I keep my options open! I've tried online dating, speed dating, and FB dating, and am willing to take more suggestions. I've even tried virtual dating, but I'm not exactly sure how this is supposed to lead to a real relationship with a real person. I am working on improving my dating results with the lessons learned from my experiences and some new tips from this forum! After all, I am still a hopeful person when it comes to finding the right guy...

To Pay or Not to Pay?

Hi everyone,

Although this is only my first post, I figured I might as well hit the ground running and potentially piss off a few readers.  This particular subject has bothered me for a while.  Please feel free to comment—I’m curious to know your thoughts when it comes to dating and money.

Ok, here it is.  

Some of you guys are totally cheap.  You know who you are. 

I’m a fair and equal girl.  When I am asked out on a date, I do offer to pay for dinner, drinks, whatever.  I know that many members of my gender feel that the guy should pay, especially when he is the one extending the invitation, but I’m all about fair and balanced.  Not in a Fox News way, though.

But I am continually surprised by the guys who practically leap out of their chairs to grab my credit card.  I may offer to pay, but you, as gentlemen, should tell me no.  I know we are in tough economic times, but if you have no money, don’t ask a girl out to dinner.  Take a picnic to a park, or invite her to go for a bike ride.  In other words, do something cheap.  Don’t act as though you’ve gotten a get out of jail free card when she hands you some cash to cover the meal.

And for you girls who never pay, you’ve got some apologizing to do.  Guys feel burnt after paying a bunch of money for your dinners, flowers, and jewelry with nothing in return, only to be dumped when things get too serious.  Then they feel all girls owe them.  That’s where my credit card comes in.

So girls, offer to pay for dinner sometimes, or treat your date to drinks or a home-cooked meal. And guys, treat a girl when you ask her out.  Money is a touchy subject for everyone.  Let’s reciprocate.