Category Archives: Advice

5 To-Dos After Divorce

Nobody says divorce is fun, and few say it’s easy to recover from. Therefore, here’s a list of 5 things you should do after you get divorced.

1. Go to the spa. Take care of your self, especially if you think the breakup was your fault. Get a massage, and let someone undo those knots in your trapezius. Make sure you choose a swanky place so that you can drift away amidst the relaxing sounds and natural aromatherapy. You might think your former other half isn’t human, but alas it’s true. Stop stewing in the blame game and go melt your cares away.

2. Go out on foot. Get some exercise be it walking, jogging, or running. And go the distance. Your endorphins will help you think more clearly after the dread you just faced. Plus, it will help ward off the extra calories you probably ingest from the stress.

3. Get a pet, preferably a dog. After a divorce, there’s a chance you think that people suck. But animals are innocent creatures who will be loyal to you for simple things, like feedings, and walks if it’s a dog. If you have a pet already, get another one. That animal was probably also your former other half’s and you don’t need it reminding you of him/her. But another pet in the house can alleviate those reminders. You can handle pet rivalry, right?

4. Throw a party. Isolating yourself after a big life change probably isn’t a good idea. Get your best friends together, tell each other jokes, have laughs and enjoy the company. If you don’t have friends, buy a round for everyone at the local bar. Then you’ll have friends.

5. Be a volunteer. Go help someone. Build a house for someone who doesn’t have one. Deliver a meal to a 90-year-old in a six-floor walk-up. Do something who’s got it worse than you. Then you won’t feel so bad for yourself.

Get your focus off the relationship gone south, and put yourself back in balance. Then you’ll be in a better place to know whether to seek a new romance or choose contentment with yourself.

How To Start A Relationship?

I have written about Sheila in the past, and while we always were friends, there was a period of time that we stopped communicating. Why? Well, she stopped answering my texts, and I stopped trying. I didn’t know why she stopped talking to me on a regular basis, and while in my head, I was trying not to take it personally, my heart was not going to be a compliant follower. I felt rejected, and seeing pictures of her doing different things with other people, kind of bothered me. Nonetheless, I felt it best to let things go. We might instant message one another from time to time, but nothing more. I didn’t want to be disappointed when things didn’t work out.

Then, one day, poof! She’s back.

I go jogging with a group of people most Saturdays and one Saturday, Sheila showed up.

At first I was a little angry.

Why here?

I had just gotten to the point where I was ready to forget her, and move on, then . . . There she is again.

A few weeks later, we went out. It wasn’t a date, but we were getting together to watch a soccer match on television. I was reticent, but I felt I had to try again. Then we went out again, and again. They weren’t dates. We were just going to a concert, then another one. Then we went out for drinks. I was hanging out with Sheila 2-3 times a week, and it was great!!

None of these were dates, but it felt nice to be around her again.

Then we went to a Halloween party, and this happened. . .

“I know there was a time that we weren’t talking, and I’m sorry about that,” said Sheila. The comment dropped as though we were talking about the weather or the next soccer match.

“But, I don’t want that to happen again,” she said, “I was trying to figure a lot of things out, and I didn’t handle things very well, but I completely adore having you as a friend. I know I want you in my life.”

I looked her in the eyes, and I knew she meant it. But I didn’t know it what it meant. . .

Was I getting the ‘let’s just be friends talk’?

If that was the case, I was prepared to handle it. Sure I might be disappointed, but I was determined to get over it and not jam up a friendship.

“Look, I can handle almost anything, but we have to communicate,” I said, “you’ve got to talk to me. I want you in my life, and if it’s not going to work out the way I may want it to, then I just need to get the hell over it.”

Sheila glanced up and to the left, then looked back at me. “Yes, but I think it’s vice-versa. I mean maybe you should let go and not worry about where it’s going. Whatever THIS is, we’ll figure it out. . .

“Whatever THIS is, we’ll figure it out.”

She smiled. I smiled.

I felt safer in this relationship – whatever it was going to be.

We were talking, really talking about how we were feeling.

 

I felt some resolution, kind of. I mean we’re friends, but . . .

Is this how a real relationship begins? Is this how a romance begins?

Tasting My Own Medicine

I’ve gone completely crazy. Me, the dating adviser. It’s been 4 months since starting to work with a therapist for 9-11 trauma, and I’ve been blessed by the presence of amazing people who have been supportive. Trauma itself is difficult to overcome. Your brain gets foggy. Events get confused. Memories are like dreams. Feelings are intense. At times I’ve had to leave work early because I could no longer think straight.

Today, it’s not the trauma that’s messing with my head. It’s that combination of chemicals in the brain that Helen Fisher talks about: adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin. It’s like being high on cocaine. And it’s all one guy’s fault.

How It Began

I love motorcycles. Riding and wrenching are my favorite pastimes. This year I hope to get on the race track and surpass my current street top speed of 95 mph. That’s pretty fast on a 30 year old motorcycle. So, the International Motorcycle Show comes around and I go. There, at one of exhibits, I meet a nice-looking, average-build man with a dark beard – a motorcycle mechanic who is working the exhibit. We had a conversation about owning 30-year-old bikes, and how he can help me with mine at his shop in upstate New York. I thought little of the meeting, took his card, said bye. I just wanted to see more exhibits.

A few weeks after the show, I get a Facebook message. It’s him. I remembered him, not because he was a good looking guy… scratch that. I remembered him partly because he had these eyes that seemed to look straight through me, and because of those eyes I remembered that he was easy on my eyes. But mostly because he was a mechanic not too far away who offered to help me with my bike, and that I could just stop by. I was not attracted to him at all. My head at the show was thinking about work. I was there as press and had been interviewing exhibitors about their products. I was not thinking about his body language, or the fact that his offer was an outright invitation to get to know him better. Nor did I think that the Facebook message was strange, since I gave him my card… oh no, but I didn’t. I didn’t give him anything but the bookmark that advertises the AlphaDog book. No email address, no phone number. And he gets on Facebook and finds me?!

He told me about a bike for sale. It didn’t take long to meet him again.

Was That a Date?

These days I don’t care about dating. I don’t pursue it. Drawing on past experiences to write about dating and relationships is enough. So, when the mechanic offers to help me with the carburetors on my motorcycle in exchange for dating advice, of course I take the offer. I didn’t have cash for a new bike, nor money to spend on maintenance I could do myself. Why not let someone else help out?

So, I ride up to drop off my bike. He shows me around the garage. Since I’m hungry, we go to a restaurant and sit down.

Then he spills the beans.

“You realize that I made that offer to get you to come up here.”

It didn’t register.

I change the subject, “When you ask that girl out, don’t ask for permission.”

He obliges and talks about this girl he had a crush on in high school. Her Facebook page doesn’t say she’s in a relationship.

We finished dinner and headed to the train, since I’d left the bike at his garage to work on a few things. But I missed the train.

Instead of waiting for the next train, he insists on driving me home, 40 miles away.

Tasting the Medicine

I don’t usually tell guys I date to read my book. They all know about it. It’s up to them. Then again, I didn’t consider the mechanic someone I was dating. He was someone who needed dating advice. So, of course I told him he should read my book. And he did.

A few weeks later, I call to get my bike. He offers to drive down to pick me up. “It’s no big deal,” he said.

At the garage he tells me that his high school crush has a boyfriend. He asks questions about how he can be an alpha without the cash. And he points out little things he fixed on my bike. They were totally unexpected. Blinders removed, I came out of denial. I didn’t know what to think or how I felt.

He asks to keep the bike one more week. “Okay,” I said, not sure if I really wanted to make another 40 mile trip.

The next weekend, I thought long and hard about the mechanic’s pursuit. We met in January. It’s now March. I was about to see him for the fourth time. Would I allow myself to be attracted to him? It didn’t matter that he has no college degree, or that his house is small, or that my income is nearly twice his. What stuck out was his tenacity, respect, patience, and his brains. In spite of having no college degree, he is still a lot smarter than most people. To me, that’s hot. It helped knowing that his personality type is “perceiving”, meaning he likes to keep his options open, and has a hard time making big life decisions. Hey, just like me.

Once again, he made the 40 mile drive to pick me up. Instead of going to the garage, we went for food. Everything was changing.

He was thinner than the first time I met him. His beard was neatly trimmed. We sat at the bar and talked. I don’t remember what we talked about. I only remember looking at him, attracted.

The next day, the chemicals overtook. I could not stop thinking about how well we connected, his openness, and the fun we had riding his motorcycle as he showed me around his neck of the woods. At one point of our ride, he took my hand to get me to hold on tighter to him before he accelerated into the highway. After the ride, I got on my own bike to go home. It was cold that evening, so he gave me fleece to wear for the ride.

The mechanic accomplished exactly what my book had laid out: getting a woman to go from a gray area to either black or white, or yes or no. I’m in the yes zone.

How to Enjoy the Super Bowl

If you’re not a football fan, but your date is, the first Sunday in February can be a dividing day. But it could be uniting if you knew how to enjoy a good game.

The last time the Giants killed the Patriots in 2008 during Super Bowl XLII (42), fans everywhere were on fire. New England and New York already have a legendary rivalry with the help of baseball great, Babe Ruth, who left the Red Sox for the Yankees helping both teams get to the World Series.

Suspense is in the air

This Sunday, the Patriots will be on the field with all their strength to win back from the Giants the title of Super Bowl champions. The competition will be fierce, and it will be worth watching.

How to enjoy football

Here are some ideas of what you might think about football and an alternate way of seeing the game.

  • There are a bunch of bodies in tights and armor running around a field, occasionally tossing the ball.
    • Pay closer attention and you might find that football is not just what you see. In the minds of the players, there is strategy, team work, challenge, foresight, and a lot of quick decisions. Get to know some of the rules and the running can get exciting.
  • The game seems slow.
    • The pauses between plays allow the teams to talk strategy, exchange players, and to reset at the line of scrimmage, which is the line where the ball starts at each play, or where it stops at the end of plays. Pauses also allow referees to review plays and make judgments.
    • Because so much strategy is involved in moving 11 teammates and a ball down the field, it takes a lot of thinking on the coaches’ and quarterbacks’ part. Watch the Giants’ Eli Manning and the Patriots’ Tom Brady closely. You will see in their body language how many decisions they have to make.
  • What’s a down?
    • Each down is basically a chance to move the ball 10 yards. When a team has the ball, its players are in offense and they get 4 chances, or 4 downs. Each time they are able to get the ball past 10 yards, they return to first down and again get 4 chances to move the ball another 10 yards.
    • Sometimes when a team is close to the opponent’s end zone, the players opt to kick the ball aimed at the field goal to gain 3 points if getting a touchdown does not seem feasible.
    • After 4 downs, if the offensive team is unable to gain 10 yards, the ball is turned over to the other team.
  • There’s a lot of pushing.
    • The quarterback has a huge responsibility. He decides the plays and, as the alpha dog, directs the team on how to employ their strategy. (See why I like football? For more on the alpha dog, visit my book’s website.) All the pushing happens so that the quarterback can complete the play either by passing the ball to his teammate or running the ball toward goal. But there are rules to passing. He can only pass the ball from behind the line of scrimmage.
    • Sometimes the quarterback passes the ball to the runningback, who may also pass the ball or run with it. Whoever gets the ball behind the line of scrimmage, the passing rule still applies.
    • Some teams have great defense. The Patriots this season had become famous for their defensive skills, or lack thereof. But their coach, Bill Belichick, has had something up his sleeve as their defense improved during playoffs. You can see great defense work when there’s a lot of pushing and tackling on the field.
  • What’s with the waiting?
    • Sometimes plays are disputed and referees need to discuss between themselves whether a play is valid. Other times coaches want to communicate with the team before their opponent makes a great play and calls a timeout. Each team gets 3 timeouts per half. Sometimes a penalty is called, or a flag is thrown, and play is stopped.
  • The game is soooo long.
    • The clock runs only when the ball is in play. If the ball is fumbled, a pass is incomplete, a penalty is called, or a runner with the ball goes out of bounds, play is stopped. The clock runs again when an official sets the ball down for the next play.

For more on football, visit NFL.com’s beginner’s guide to football.

Enjoy the game and your date!

P.S. If the date is in someone’s home, impress your companion by bringing beer or food, like wings, chili, nachos, or a savory salad if he or she is health-conscious.

New Year’s Dating Resolutions

Was 2011 a tough year for romance? Or for other reasons? Loneliness can be our biggest enemy especially when accompanied by heart-wrenching conflicts. You know, the ones that get us begging to an unseen being, or asking, “WHY?” Whether the struggle is within relationships or fighting through life’s challenges, there is nothing like loneliness to force us to feel the pain.

Fortunately, we can also triumph over loneliness either by learning to be comfortable alone or by finding companionship.

Television producer, Tamara Duricka Johnson, triumphed by the latter method, which she shares in her new book, 31 Dates in 31 Days. The title explains. In the new year following her 31st birthday, Tamara (rhymes with camera) would have 31 dates, one date every day for 31 days.

Can you imagine having a date with a different person every day for a month? Most of us probably don’t have the energy to do it. But it became Tamara’s mission in her quest to answer, “Why am I still single?!” (Note that the question wasn’t, “Where is my future husband?”)

Make a resolution count

If you’re in the habit of making new years’ resolutions, you’ve likely failed to keep at least some of them.

Resolutions should resolve something, such as a problem. Maybe one of the reasons why so many people give up on diet or weight resolutions, is because diet and weight are not really problems unless they are causing life-threatening conditions, like heart disease or diabetes. Of course, there’s prevention, but unless there’s a real reason to change something, why change?

An effective resolution requires a willingness to change. Without that willingness, nothing will change. Unfortunately, it’s too easy to get comfortable, be lackadaisical, or not really care. Hence, unwillingness.

To make a resolution really count, do this:

  1. Quit complaining
  2. Desire change
  3. Write attainable goals

The aim is resolution. In other words, you must become resolved about whatever the issue is. In the case of loneliness, the aim could be to either become content with being alone, or find companionship.

Tamara wasn’t about learning to be alone, but she was willing to learn to be that way. She made a plan, designated dating rules, then put out the word about her “project”. At the very least she would learn something even if she didn’t find companionship.

So how do you make a resolution that actually resolves?

First of all, you have to want to become resolved, or want change. If you don’t really want to change anything, then don’t bother trying. But if you do really want change, the key is in your goals. And goals need aim.

Aim vs. goal

A soccer player doesn’t score a goal without aim. When he aims, the goal cage is the focus. Not having aim puts the ball in any direction. Making goals is nearly impossible without aim.

Tamara’s aim was to conquer loneliness. Her goal: go on 31 dates in 31 days.

It’s much easier to attain goals, when your aim is clear. And it’s much easier to reach goals when they are attainable. For example, a goal of losing 20 pounds can be exciting at first, but it can get taxing when you’re 18 pounds away. Make the aim 20 pounds and the goal losing 1 pound per week. (Then remember the weeks will be up and down.) Or make the aim having more energy.

The dating resolution

If you want to change your dating life for the better, make your aim clear, and set attainable goals.

The following table lists some examples of aims and goals.

Aim


Goal


  • Make new friends
  • Meet one new person every week for 20 weeks
  • Learn something about yourself
  • Go on 2 dates with 3 people who are not your type
  • Conquer loneliness
  • Frequent a new place every weekend for 3 months

Whatever your resolution, set fun goals. Your life should have quality, so don’t make yourself miserable.

For inspiration, read Tamara’s book available in bookstores or on Amazon. It’s funny and insightful, and gives an inside look at her joys, despairs, and triumphs. For more about Tamara’s project, visit 31datesin31days.com.

A Video About Being Alone

This video by Andrea Dorfman and poet/singer/songwriter, Tanya Davis, came out in 2010, but it seems to be making its rounds on the interweb. I thought it would be great to share it here during this holiday season.

Ten years after 9-11, this is difficult holiday season for many, including myself having lived one mile away from the World Trade Center, volunteering at a local hospital, then losing my job months later because of chronic bronchitis developed by breathing the black dust that came into my apartment even when the windows were closed.

In spite of the hardships, being alone is one thing I’ve learned to be content with and even cherish at times. It makes meeting people and building relationships beyond priceless. Maybe it’s because of life’s challenges that makes me appreciate being alone. It’s part of a growth process that occurs when we surrender to the tears that come from facing those challenges. It’s not easy to learn, but how amazing when it is learned.

Enjoying being alone is like a gift, and I would love to share it. But how do you share it? This video can’t be a better way.

Tanya has a book of poetry, At First, Lonely, available on Indigo.ca.

Thank you Andrea and Tanya. This is beautiful.

Happy holidays.

How to Ruin Your First Date

First dates can be pretty awful, no matter how great the connection is. You’re stressed about what to wear (casual or dressy?), you’re stressed about when to show up (early, on time, or fashionably late?), you’re stressed about who’s going to pay (do you go dutch?), you’re just plain stressed (how did you get talked into this again?!). As if that weren’t enough, there are a thousand and a half things that could go wrong before, during and after the date, and you’re overanalyzing brain has thought of all of them. There are a few ways you can guarantee that a first date will be ruined though, no overanalyzing involved.

1.  You stay glued to your phone the whole time

There’s no better way to show you’re not interested then by continually checking your phone and sending texts updating your best friend on how everything is going. Not putting your phone on silent and answering calls during dinner is another good way to solidify that you care more about what’s going on with your friends then your date. Oh, wait – you were interested in your date?

2.  You’re already planning your second date, and your drinks haven’t even arrived yet

Hello Mr. or Miss Way Too Forward. Coming off as way too interested too soon is a great way to end a date quickly. What says deal breaker more than someone who is overly clingy and desperate within the first hour of meeting them?

 3. You spend the whole night bragging about yourself

If desperate and clingy weren’t enough, arrogant and self-absorbed should seal the deal as far as ruining a first date goes. So when in doubt, just talk yourself up incessantly.

4.  You leave your wallet at home

Nothing says “don’t date me” like being unprepared. It doesn’t matter if you’re the guy or the girl, not having any money on you makes you look cheap or like you’re fishing for them to pay entirely, especially if you were supposed to go dutch, or one of you was going to pay for drinks and the other dinner.

5.  You complain the entire time

The bread is stale. You’re water glass needs to be refilled. This food sucks. You’d rather be doing (insert whatever). Welcome to the date, Negative Nancy or Negative Norman. Everyone likes a little negativity – right?

It’s hard enough these days to find someone that you spark with, and highlighting your worst qualities just makes it that much harder. Then again, who likes first dates anyway? It’s not like they’re completely necessary to start a new relationship or anything…

Author Bio

Mary Edwards is one of the contributors and editors for BestDatingSites.org. She is passionate about thought leadership writing, regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting and online dating community. She can be reached at edwardsmary936 AT gmail.com.

Texas Hold ‘Em Pick Up Strategies

Getting a good hand might take luck, but it takes skill to play a good game.

  1. Know what’s in your hand

    There is no absolute formula for a good pickup. It’s probability. Like estimating the probability of a winning hand from your pocket cards, your chances for a good pickup can be determined from your target’s position relative to yours and the person’s body language.

    If your target is right next to you and his or her body turns toward you, it’s like having a pair of aces. But that doesn’t mean you’ll win the hand. There might be an opponent on the dealer/target’s other side who’s already been dealt a straight. Sometimes you have to maneuver for a better position – e.g., consider the other player’s bet, call, wait for the dealer, then raise.

    Sometimes maneuvering gives you a better perspective of your odds. You can bluff your opponent, wait for the river card, and win the hand.

  2. You can’t judge a pokerface

    An experienced poker player probably won’t hint what’s in his or her hand when the flop is dealt. But if you look at the player’s feet, according to Joe Navarro’s What Every Body is Saying, it’s easier to tell if he or she is nervous. Active feet are happy. Feet pointed toward the door speak nerves.

    Similarly, your date might not reveal true feelings in his or her face. For example, if he or she looks away after you’ve made eye contact, he/she might be shy or simply unprepared. But if his/her feet are turned toward you, chances are there’s interest.

  3. “If you ‘buy-in’ cheap, don’t expect a big ‘pay-out.’”

    This one, applying to the guys more than women, comes from The Winner’s Guide to Dating (What I Learned about Love and Sex from Playing Texas Hold ’em), a cool illustrated book of one-liners by New Yorker Randall Klitz. This particular tip refers to going on a date. Dinner at Mickey D’s probably won’t seduce a girl as much as Au-Trendy-Hot-Spot.

    But if you’re a really good pickup artist, you don’t even have to plan a date to get laid. Sometimes, one drink at a bar is enough. Though, if you want beauty and brains, don’t go to dives unless you want to lower your probability for a win.

What Not to Do on a First Date

You know from first hand experience a lot of things you should and shouldn’t do the first time you go out with someone. Of course people do things that you have no control over that they probably need to pull the reins on. These include, but are not limited to, blatantly trying to determine if you’re “marriage material”, get close and cuddly too soon, trying to figure out how much money or debt you have, being self-centered, lying, and complaining.

But this isn’t about what others do. It’s about what you do. So, let’s get started.

Don’t over-think.

Here are a two things that can happen as a result of over-thinking that can ruin a perfectly good potential relationship:

  1. Assuming that one thing your date says means what you think it means. You may want to clarify before you jump off the love boat.
  2. Dwelling on a small detail. Get over it. It’s one little thing amidst a complex being. If you keep doing this you may never get a second date.

Don’t be a coward

Here are some examples of things your date might talk about that you really shouldn’t be scared of:

  • A health issue.
    As long as your date doesn’t go into detail about his or her health problem without you asking about it, and he/she’s not near death, there’s really no reason other than lack of interest not to try a second date – unless you’re a spineless loser.
  • What he or she wants out of a relationship.
    So what if your date doesn’t want to waste time. Don’t make a big deal out of someone stating what he or she wants. Of course there is inappropriate behavior such as crying a lot or having a crazy look in the eyes. That, of course, might be reason to run. In either case, don’t freak out. Just gently let your date know that it’s too soon to discuss those kind of details. As long as a person is matter-of-fact about what he or she wants, talking about relationship hopes is not out of line.
  • His or her shrink.
    A lot of people see therapists. Why should it not a deal-breaker? Really good, deep, emotionally-bonded friendships are not easy to come by. Women and men need to be able to talk about their feelings. Generally therapists are simply people who are paid to listen to our emotional vomit. (Boy, does it feel good afterward.)

Everything in moderation, of course. If your date has a difficult time getting off a topic, like a previous relationship or a childhood story, that’s another issue altogether.

Sometimes people are simply too nervous to be themselves. If you never get nervous, you’re not human. Don’t forget that it’s very easy to put your foot in your mouth or do things you wouldn’t normally do especially when you like someone. Have some grace for cryin’ out loud!

What you can do on a first date

If something your date says bugs you, have the person elaborate. Even if the subject has changed, you can say something like, “I’m sorry, but you mentioned…What exactly did you mean by that?…” This is especially important if you tend to jump to conclusions.

And if you really want a companion and not a one-nighter, don’t try to have sex on the first date. Okay? And if things just get too steamy, well, I hope you both will agree with the outcome.

It’s also okay to call after the date and clarify what was said or to let the person know if you’re not interested. Then you politely say Thank you and Goodbye. Then change your number. Just kidding…mostly.

The topic of this post was inspired by Rachel Greenwald’s Have Him At Hello. Not bad, this book.

How to Meet Girls

The most important tip anyone could ever give you in regard to meeting Ladies: This is seriously your foundation and you will need to stay focused. Females are mostly attracted by self confidence and in turn – they are completely turned off by the lack of it. Your facial expression will get you started or shut you down instantly. If your expression is one of sadness or blank, negative or anything besides what I’m about to share then you’ve lost before you even entered the room. Girls will smell the failure or success in a guy long before they are even approached. And, this is important to remember, you don’t have to be financially successful to beat out the guys who are. Money gives a guy an edge when used correctly but it’s the not the money that gets the babes unless it’s a hooker or gold digger. Don’t get me wrong about this – having some money is very important if a relationship is what you want because women/girls are looking for security when it comes to relationships.

Getting started:

Here is what you have to do – some homework. Practice what I’m about to share as much as possible until you get your best at this. Your facial expression needs to be self confident and a little happy. You don’t even have to be smiling but i do recommend a slight smile or a slightly happy face. Depending on your mood and type of day you are having – this may not be apparent unless you are consciously making it happen.

If you are not a very self confident person and most people are not then think of something you are good at – anything at all. If you’re real good at throwing horse shoes (or whatever else you can think of – anything) – use it to create that confident look on your face. Stand in front of a mirror and think about what ever it is that you are good at or something that you enjoy very much and practice that confident and slightly happy look. What I am explaining will help you at work too – it will help with most things you do that involve others – for example, if you hate your boss – you better start practicing this immediately or you might lose your job because your boss will see the hate in your eyes and in your body language. Your face projects how you feel about yourself and how you feel about yourself is how others are going to feel about you! When you think you have it mastered, practice it while looking into someone’s eyes and keep doing this until you can look into a girl’s eyes and maintain that look. Think about it –

Projecting confidence is crucial and it’s the single most important thing you can do.

So practice “the face” and before you walk through a door – have that face on before you enter the room.

There’s a fine line between a confident face and an arrogant face – so you don’t want to over do it either. Having said that – you are better off looking slightly arrogant than looking like a loser or a failure.

Now project confidence –

This is your single the biggest ticket to get in.

Remember, if you are not a confident person use the trick of thinking about something you are good at, it can be anything……..

FREE TIPS to meet girls
by Tom Gurda