Dating Theories
Booty Call, Fuck Buddy, or Friend with Benefits?
Recently, I heard “If I’m Not Your Lover” by Al B. Sure!. Listening to it now, the lyrics resonate more then back when I first heard it in the late 80s: If I’m not your lover If I’m not your friend Tell me, baby Just tell me what I am The song reflects the role [...]
Introduction to pursuit theory
Somewhere on a playground, a little girl pinches a little boy and then turns and runs away. The little boy gives chase. He’s not entirely sure why he’s chasing her, or what he’ll do if and when he catches her, but he does it anyway. He doesn’t even stop to think about it, all he [...]
When to ask her out: The acquaintance
An acquaintance is somewhere between a stranger and a friend. It’s someone that you speak to on a regular basis but don’t necessarily communicate with outside of a recurring situation. An acquaintance is the waitress at the restaurant that you go to all the time, or another student in a class you’re taking, or a [...]
My favorite date idea
As men, it’s typically our job to come up with fantastic ideas for dates. Yes, you’ll start off with coffee and then maybe move on to dinner and a movie, but what else? This new girl in your life wants to be taken out of the norm, she wants you to help her escape the [...]
Why I love her…
We had only been dating a month when Mark told me he loved me. I looked at him somewhat flabbergasted and felt confused rather than feeling overwhelmed by his declaration. He barely knows me, I thought. He told me he loves me, but I didn’t know what that meant. Mark and I continued to date and our relationship had [...]
Continuing the conversation
A little while ago, I wrote about how to start a conversation with someone. Starting the conversation is just a springboard; you need to keep the conversation going after that point to have a chance at a date. For some reason, keeping up a conversation is a problem for a lot of people. Guys in [...]
Should You Settle?
A friend just sent me this article from Lori Gottlieb about “settling for Mr. Good Enough.” In it, she writes (bold emphasis mine): Every woman I know—no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure—feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried. … Whether you acknowledge it [...]
The Comparison Effect
Speaking of comparing dates to ex’s, here’s an interesting phenomenon. If a girl dates a real asshole, then dates you, you’ll find that you can get away with almost anything slightly above the asshole meter and she’ll love you for it. Or to put it more formally: if a person has a negative experience with [...]
Is this a date?
I was out with a new friend one day and we started talking about dating. It was an odd topic to talk about with someone I barely knew, but that’s the way the conversation flowed and that’s the way we went. She laughed as she told me about the time that she didn’t even realize [...]
Comparing Dates to Ex’s
So what do you think about this one? Whenever you date someone new, do you find yourself comparing them to previous ex’s? Me, I think it’s kind of inevitable and even, maybe, natural? It doesn’t have to be comparing the new girl to a specific ex, but perhaps specific traits of all your ex’s. Maybe [...]
