Rants
There Are Worse Things I Could Do
“There are worse things I could do,
Than go with a boy or two.
Even though the neighborhood thinks I’m trashy,
And no good,
I suppose it could be true,
But there are worse things I could do.
I could flirt with all the guys,
Smile at them and bat my eyes.
Press against them when we dance,
Make them think they stand a [...]
TRUTH about cats & dogs
“It’s a given that all men are dogs. What differentiates each guy is how much dog is in him.”
I barely settle into my side of the cab and my college buddy starts barking his version of conventional dating wisdom at me.
“I suggest you tap into me to discern the purebreds from the strays in [...]
PUPPETS, PIRATES & ICE-CREAM… Oh my!
“So this guy points out all our differences on the date…” Eddie wants a full rundown on my latest-and-greatest dating adventure. I’m trying to convince him that this taking-it-slow mantra is just not working for me. It’s not my style. Right?
“Wait, this is your second date?” He’s got his big [...]
DITCH those who go DUTCH
“How was the date with [fill-in-the-blank]?”
I get quizzed by my buddies every other day now about the last guy I’ve kept myself from swapping spit with. They’re harassing me for this new road-to-dating-recovery I’ve chosen to take. No PROMISE of SEX. Just the POSSIBILITY of it. And, quite frankly, it’s [...]
SINGLE-itis
I’ve come to rely heavily on Depeche Mode’s take on GOD’s bizarre sense of humor — especially when it comes to my dating life. It’s been six months (give or take) since the scolding I got from Karen at the clinic for not practicing better cootie control. I cried abstinence, so I guess [...]
I Got Fluffed
Patience or denial? Um, that would be denial. I got fluffed. Played like a banjo.
I saved a low-level of optimism that that Sunday’s tentative wine-tasting date with Mr. Perfect would come together. After all, his efforts of pursuit had increased after Wednesday’s date, so there was hope he was “getting it”. On the flip [...]
I Don’t Want to Be Your Friend Anymore
I have a really bad habit of staying friends with my exes. I say it is a bad habit, because that is what it has become – I go on a few dates with someone and a month or two rolls by and then it fizzles and ends. We say let’s be friends – after [...]
Waiting for the call
Thanks to everyone who posted a comment on The Perfect Date, I’m so relieved to know I’m not the only one who has felt anxiety (instead of just pure bliss) when things go well!
So although I knew it was unlikely to see him again before 2009, I have to say this waiting is making me [...]
Land of the Misfit Toys
My married friends ask, “Hey, how is the dating thing going?”
My reply is stolen from a remark at a cocktail party, but I love it, and use it: “Oh, it’s like living in the Land of the Misfit Toys!” Everyone laughs, but I look for the few who have that knowing smile, for they are [...]
I love it when…
I love it when you look at me and smile that sly smile you have. I know the smile is meant only for me, and it makes me melt every single time. Keep doing it.
I love it when you wear my shirts. Especially effective is when the shirt is way too big for you and [...]
